Title: Male Exchange

Author/pseudonym: Jugrod

Email address: jugrod@yahoo.com

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: J/B

Status: Complete

Category: First Times, Humor

Disclaimer: Not ours, damm it. Still belongs to Pet Fly last time we looked. We'll keep checking in case they decide they don't want them anymore. The guys would have much more fun with us. No Cascade police officers, Mounties, wolves or FBI agents were harmed in the creating of this email opus.

Notes: Jugrod is actually three people, who decided to write an email story, with each person "playing" a different character. Anybody who cares to guess who Jugrod are and match them to the character (Jim, Blair, and Simon) that they played, send your guesses to: jugrod@yahoo.com And yes, we may be tempted to publicize some of the more creative responses we get (minus the names and email addresses of the respondents), so think carefully!

Summary: Simon sends Blair to Chicago and a series of emails alert the gentlemen to buried feelings. Email is a good thing.

Warnings: m/m

Male Exchange

by Jugrod


From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Friday, September 29, 2000 11:59 PM CST

Subject: Made it


Ok Jim

I made it here in one piece. All settled in. I'll call you tomorrow when I can. Later..got some parties to check out. Not like it's even close

to my normal 3 am bedtime <G>


From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Friday, September 29, 2000 11:59 PM PST

Subject: Bedtime


Listen, Chief, I know you're a big boy now and that you can take care of yourself, but let's face it, you're not getting any younger and pulling these all nighters just isn't healthy. NOW GO TO BED and I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT HOW THREE FUCKING AM IS OUR NORMAL BEDTIME!

Got that? I live with you buddy, remember? I know damn well that you're in bed by 11 and asleep by 11:02.


From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Saturday, September 30, 2000 2:21 AM CST

Subject: Re: Bedtime


BITE ME ELLISON...you're just mad that Simon sent me out to Chicago for the conference and you're stuck in court. How did he put it... Let's see... "Face it Jim, when it comes to smoozing the kid does it better then anyone else." Oh and wasn't there a comment somewhere along the lines about someone needing to "cut the apron strings."

Latter Dude... I heard the FBI guys have taken over most of the 8th floor and have a wild party going on. You should have seen the red head they had lecturing today. I could handle working with the FBI if they all looked like her.

And Jim... I wouldn't comment on "not getting any younger." I still have a full head of hair<G>


From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Saturday, September 30, 2000 1:50 PM CST

Subject: Hi

Hey Jim,

Enjoying your peace and quiet?

Let it not be said that the FBI doesn't know how to throw a party. It finally broke up around 4 am. After hotel security stopped by. Man, remind me to stay away from the rum.

Oh man look at the time....sorry big guy..got to run. The panel on profiling starts in 10 mins.




From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Saturday, September 30, 2000 12:13 PM PST

Subject: Smooze/Snooze


Well, fuck, like I don't know you're the master of smooze? And obfuscations? And fancy footwork? And are you implying that I'm JEALOUS? Tell me you're kidding. Right? Me? Jealous of you? Well, okay, the redhead sounds - acceptable, but if you think a party given by the Feds on any floor is wild, well, sonny, you head on up there but you'd better take something to keep you awake or your smoozing will turn to snoozing.

Jim, who remembers that Sandburg is also the master of - table legs. Watch those splinters, buddy boy.

PS: Please note the dignity and maturity I've chosen to show with regards to a certain remark about --- hair.

PSS: What's the fucking emoticon for flipping someone's partner the bird?


From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Saturday, September 30, 2000 8:14 PM CST

Subject: Jealous


Of course you're jealous...always have been. Hence the "table leg" remark. You just hate the fact that I have my pick of the female population while you, on the otherhand, keep ending up with the criminal element.

And it was a bitchin party man...no snoozin at all. We've highly underrated our federal brothers (and sisters) in blue. I could write a paper on the social release of tension by members of the law enforcement community.

Especialy with the "research" I got done last night <BEG>

Shame you couldn't be here.

Blair who knows exactly how few dates that Jim has had in the past year since said roommate wouldn't know what to do with a "splinter" if he got one.

PS: I'd note the dignity and maturity if there was any to note.



From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Saturday, September 30, 2000 7:10 PM PST

Subject: HA!


How does one get this damn thing to splutter? And has anyone told you lately that you're a horses ass? Oh, and by the way, I received a phone call from Sam Leroy this morning. You remember him, don't you? He mentioned you, believe it or not. Seems he's in - Chicago. Amazing, what? He was also on the eighth floor last night but he left early - 10:00 pm, when the party fizzled out. Not that he called it a party. Actually, I do believe his exact words were - snoozefest.

Hell, would you check the time? I'm late, supposed to pick up Eva Medrano

in twenty. We're seeing that new Italian film tonight. <smirk>

Don't you give your talk today? Hey, don't be nervous or anything, okay? It's just a bunch of the best detectives, policemen, Feds and hierarchy of law enforcement in the country. And if I remember correctly, Interpol, MI6, the CMP and Scotland Yard are represented too, right? But hey, no big deal. No pressure.

Maturity, thy name is Sandburg

Jim, who has always known what to do with his wood.



From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Sunday, October 1, 2000 1:05 AM CST

Subject: Re: HA!


Wow...a date ..you actually managed to work up the nerve........no, let me guess.

She invited YOU out! No way in hell you'd invite someone to a "Italian" film.

ROTFL ...I can see it now. You squeezing into the seats at the "Art House", struggling to stay awake. Bet you don't even make it half way through the movie, Big Guy....

Eva Medrano, she's that new assistant DA, right? Can't believe you're going out with her man. She's so not your type. But I guess when you've had a long dry spell like you've had you can't be choosy.

Sam Leroy??? Ohhh I remember him....he's the one hotel security had to remove from the lobby fountain. Seems they didn't appreciate him skinny dipping with his new playmate. And isn't he married to Linda down in records? Should I send you the photos?

And thank you for your rousing words of support. Yes my "talk" was today. Went quite well in fact. I just warmed them up by regaling them with stories of my partner. They especially enjoyed hearing about your "gun loss" during the Kensington case. The one where you managed to lose you gun in that pile of fish. Even managed to get several job offers afterwards. Guess they figured if I could work with you, I can work with anyone.

I'm showing MY maturity by ignoring that "horse's ass" comment.

Don't wait up ...Several of the local cops are taking us out on the town so I won't be able to call tonight.


who's impressed that his partner can even find his wood, considering how long it's been in storage


From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Sunday, October 01, 2000 6:13 PM PST

Subject: Re: HA!


As soon as I find a way to make this fucking machine splutter and spit, watch out guppy!!!

And apparantly I've finally learned the fine art of snipping {too bad I can't snip you}.

You wrote:

<<Wow...a date ..you actually managed to work up the nerve........no, let me guess.

She invited YOU out! No way in hell you'd invite someone to a "Italian" film.>>

YES A FUCKING DATE. And don't hold it against her that she's not a criminal - I don't. And yes, I asked her out, you moron. {Okay, the film was her idea but I found it to be quite entertaining and the symbolism of man's struggle to understand the female, to learn to live in the same world with such strange and diverse creatures was not unlike what I go through on a daily basis - with you.}

You further wrote and rather snidely I might add:

<<Eva Medrano, she's that new assistant DA, right? Can't believe you're going out with her man. She's so not your type. But I guess when you've had as long of a dry spell as you've had you can't be choosy>>

Not my type? I have a type? Now this I gotta hear. What exactly is my type, Mr. Table Leg Sandburg? Mr. I'll Date Anything that Breathes? And need I remind you; dry wood burns hot and bright while wet or even slightly damp wood (not unlike your much overused wood) can barely smoke?????

BTW: Sam Leroy isn't the only person I've talked to. Need I say more, Mr. In Bed by 11?


<<....them with stories of my partner. They especially enjoyed hearing

about your "gun loss" during the Kensington case. The one where you managed

to lose you gun in that pile of fish.>>>

Why do I think that you convienently left out the part about how you started sneezing, did a little piroutte, slammed into the delivery guy who tumbled into me, thus knocking my gun into the fish? Or the part about how you dove in to save my gun because you'd taken too much allergy medicine and thought the gun was drowning? Did you happen to mention that, big boy?

And it's obvious why you've apparantly received so many job offers. I'm quite sure cops around the country need their guns saved all the time. And do have fun tonight. I'm off myself. Double dating with Connor.

And you should never ignore problems, Sandburg. <eg>



From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Sunday, October 01, 2000 3:37 AM CST

Subject: See first line...


Man you can be such a dick ...

>And apparantly I've finally learned the fine art of snipping {too bad I >can't snip you}.

What's with all this macho posturing? Snip me? If I was still taking Psychology, I'd say you're feeling your masculinity is being threatened. Ergo you have to resort to comment such as the above to mentaly emasculate me and reafirm your alpha male status.

· YES A FUCKING DATE. And don't hold it against her that she's

· not a criminal - I don't. And yes, I asked her out, you moron.


Gee, lets not get hostle here. It's not like I've witnessed you going out all that often. Now that I think about it it's been,what, almost half a year since your last date?

> {Okay, the film was her idea but I found it to be quite entertaining

> and the symbolism of man's struggle to understand the female, to learn

> to live in the same world with such strange and diverse creatures was

> not unlike what I go through on a daily basis - with you.}

Oh man you are killing me here..... You fell asleep, fess up, you did didn't you? I do read the paper and I do remember that review. Glad you think I'm a "strange and diverse creature." Right....

And what's with this "Sam Leroy isn't the only person I've talked to." What are you doing man, checking up on me? First it's telling me when I should be going to bed and now calling people to spy on me. What the hell do you think's going to happen to me at a Law Enforcement convention?

And yes I left out the part about my retrival of your gun. If you remember, I didn't want to take the damm medicine in the first place. Had a perfectly good herbal tea to clear up my congestion. But no that wasn't good enough for you. Had to MAKE ME take that green time bomb. And if that wasn't enough then it was the chicken soup, or the extra sweater or the heating pad or trying to get Simon to send me home. You're not a Blessed Protector, you're a Jewish mother on Steroids in disguise.

>Not my type? I have a type? Now this I gotta hear. What exactly is my


Yeah you have a type. Let a woman show up who's sure to make your life hell...that's the one you'll go after. I swear sometimes it's like you don't think you deserve to be happy.

At least the people I hang out with make me smile, care about what I think and feel, know how to have a good time....

Must have been a real short date. According to the front desk you tried calling at around 9:30 or so. A double date...with CONNOR?? Right... whatever you say Jim. Sure wouldn't want to doubt the word of my SENIOR partner would I?

Oh BTW Jim ....FUCK YOU. It's nice to know that my PARTNER thinks so highly of my skills that the idea that another agency or department might want to offer me a job is nothing more then a joke to him.

Had a great time tonight, thank you. Got to talk some more with that redhead from the FBI , Dana. She thinks that I'd have a good chance at getting a position with the FBI, say in the Behavioral Science Unit. So... what do you think Jim? I've got the application right here...

Hell... I'm wiped. Enough of this shit. I'm heading off to bed...

And just to let you know, things have been smokin' quite well here. Bed by 11 pm? Ha... well maybe in a bed ...just not the one in my room.

Blair who thinks Jim's wood burns like a flash in the pan, over real quick.


From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Monday, October 02, 2000 4:36 PM PST

Subject: Hello

So - how was your day, Chief?


From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Monday, October 02, 2000 9:01 PM CST

Subject: Re: Hello


Ahh... good... fine... interesting.

Morning session was on a new computer program to aid in evaluating threat levels in stalker cases and such. Secret Service uses a version of it. I'm bringing info home for Simon to take a look at.

Don't tell Simon, I skipped out of the afternoon sessions. Went down to the lake and sat and watched the water. Meditated a bit.

Room service is good here. Not as good as a home-cooked meal..but OK.

So... how was your day in court?




From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Monday, October 02, 2000 9:48 PM PST

Subject: CALL ME NOW!!


Meditated? You had to meditate? What the hell happened? What did someone do to you?? I want a telephone call right now, you hear? And fuck the afternoon session and for that matter, fuck Simon. CALL ME NOW.


who says Sandburg had better call - and pronto



Tuesday, October 3, 2000 7:10 AM PST

::found on Ellison-Sandburg answering machine::

JIM...JIMMMM ..damm it pick up. ...Are you there? Of course he's not there Blair, you idiot... he's got court.

Jim ..hey I'm sorry I missed you . Every thing's fine. It's cool. Nothing's wrong. Ahh and no one said anything to me. Sheesh ..so just get out of Blessed Protector overdrive. I just need to process a few things ...OK

I'll..ah... try and catch you later.



Tuesday, October 3, 2000 10:03 AM CST

:::::found on hotel voicemail:::::


Well, guess I called at a bum time - just realized that 8 am here puts you smack in the middle of some scintillating workshop back there. Glad to hear you're okay and WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET THIS BLESSED PROTECTOR CRAP! I didn't just yell - but for crying out loud, you said it first and pardon me if I think I hear something in you emails, okay? Pardon me for worrying about my partner, okay? Have fun and talk later. Bye.

Tuesday, October 3, 2000 1:27 PM PST

::found on Ellison-Sandburg answering machine::

Hey Jim? Guess you didn't come home for lunch.


Give me a call at the hotel ... OK?


oh... and Big Guy... I tore up that application..you know... the one from the FBI... just thought... well you might like to know...




Tuesday, October 3, 2000 3:12 PM CST

:::::found on hotel voicemail:::::


Guess this is a good game of phone tag, eh, Chief? Believe me, I tried to reach you on the old lunch hour, but you know how criminals in Cascade can be.....totally clueless to a detective's basic right to swill down some of Joe's chili. Try again later. Bye


:::message found on hotel voicemail five minutes later than the first:::

Uh, did you say you tore up the application, Chief?



Tuesday, October 03, 2000 1:59 PM PST

::found on Voice mail at Cascade PD::


Hey Jim... guess you finally managed to grab that bowl of Chili.




I like having someone worry about me. Just not used to it... I mean I should be by now... right?


I like having you worry about me... I...


I'll try to reach you at home... OK? Take care...



Tuesday, October 3, 2000 7:37 PM CST

::message found on hotel voicemail::


So where the hell are you NOW? And you do? Well, then, okay.



From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Tuesday, October 03, 2000 11:43 PM CST

Subject: Everything's Fine




Sorry for the email. Just wanted to send you a quick note.

First... I'M FINE

Second...Whatever you hear on the news..they're blowing it all out of proportion.

Third... I'M FINE. not a mark on me.

Fourth... No one was hurt. The bombs were found by Chicago PD (and a Mountie with a wolf... don't ask... way too weird even for me to explain.) and disposed of. Ok one did go off but we got it out of the hotel before it did.

Fifth... Again... I'm FINE.

Listen... now that everything is wrapped up I need to go help with the paperwork. And tell Simon that whatever Lt. Welsh says it wasn't that big of a deal. I was just at the right place at the right time.

I've got to tell you though... I've done some thinking. Hell, I've done a lot of thinking but today just made things clearer. When I get back... I think we need to talk... OK?

And Jim... that application... shredded, gone-totally gone, man.

Man I really miss you... next time one of these things comes up Simon better plan on sending both of us or neither of us. I hate this solo shit.




From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Tuesday, October 03, 2000 10:07 PM PST

Subject: Re: Everything's Fine


FINE?!?!? FUCKING FINE?!?!?! So help me, Sandburg.... and what the fuck is a mountie doing in Chicago? And what do you mean you were in the right place at the right time???? And what does this mountie look like anyway????

AND FUCKING FINE? You. Never. Leave. The. Loft. Again. without a leash.

PERIOD. You got that?????

...and you miss me? What, the redhead boring you to death, Sandburg?

Disarming bombs putting you to sleep?

....you shredded it?



From: sbanks@cpd.cascade.wa.gov

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 10:28 AM PST

Subject: Chicago



Do me a BIG favor and remind me never to send you ANYWHERE alone, without your partner, again, will you? Your ability to find trouble wherever you go never ceases to amaze me.

Seriously, Sandburg, good job. Lt. Welsh says your quick thinking saved all those people at the wedding reception, though I understand that the groom never quite got over being thrown into the wedding cake.

And do something about your partner. I'm thinking I'll have to cuff him to the city hall flag pole in order to keep him from tearing off to Chicago.

He's just... I mean, I really, really should have known better. I don't know how you do it Sandburg, but when you are around, he's a decent human being. When you aren't... Let's just say I've been kicking myself all week for not sending him to Chicago with you, he's worse than useless.

Before you jump on me, let me say, I've been keeping an eye on him, Connor's been sticking to him like glue, everybody else has been watching him, but, it's like, like, watching a caged tiger. One moment he's staring vacantly into space, and I'm afraid he's zoned, the next, he's tearing into Rafe for asking him how he's doing!

I don't mean to worry you, Sandburg, or get you upset. I'll keep Jim chained to his desk until you get back. Though that's another headache, but at least he won't be out in the streets... Jesus, what was I thinking?? Don't answer that. Just make sure you get back here in one piece. That's an order.




Wednesday, October 04, 2000



from the desk of:

Captain S. Banks


I hate to tell you this, but "Car Blair" isn't an acceptable item in a Reimbursement Request Form. Neither is "3 Sandburgs (lunch)" or "Dry Cleaning: 2 Chief."




From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 6:09 PM CST

Subject: Shredding and other matters


Man... you can be such a ass at times <G>

Yes... I shredded it... totally gone. You know I couldn't fill it out unless you were filling one out too. And since we both know there is no way in hell the FBI would ever hire you...<G>

Jim... forget the Mountie ( though I have to say he was good looking ), forget Dana (the redhead)...


I miss your grousing about my feet on the coffee table I miss your grumbling about all my wet towels. I miss the way you look when you're using your senses I miss giving you a hard time when you eat Wonderburgers. I miss being with you in that hayseed truck.

I miss the sound of your voice when you yell at me in the morning to "Shake a leg Sandburg".

What I don't miss is how my life was before I met you.

You got that Jim?

And yes I'm fine... other than the missing you part... that part is not fine.

Hell... we really need to talk. I've got some things I want to say that need to be said face to face. I'm just not sure how well you're going to take it. I so do not want to be homeless when I return to Cascade.




From : customersupport@yahoo.com

To : All Yahoo Mail Users

Sent : Wednesday, October 04, 2000 7:10 PM CST

Subject : Mail outage


Dear Yahoo Mail Customers,

There was a temporary POP server outage earlier today. Please be aware that mail sent from your Yahoo account within the past three hours may have been lost. We are sorry for the inconvenience. All service has been restored at this time.



From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 7:13 PM CST

Subject: leash



That comment about the leash?

Assuming that it's connected to me... who exactly would be holding it?




From : bsandburg@yahoo.com

To : sbanks@cpd.cascade.wa.gov

Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 7:22 PM CST

Subject: Re: Chicago


Hey Simon,


Trust me, I did not go looking for trouble. Though to hear Lt. Welsh tell it, Constable Fraser was the one at fault. Guess he must be a trouble magnet too.

And it's not your fault Simon. Jim had to be in court. Not like he could put that off.

He was in court all this week, wasn't he?

I mean he'd tell me if it ended early or something, right?

Oh MAN... he is SOOOO DEAD.

He hasn't been in court, has he?

I thought that comment Sunday about double dating with Connor was a joke.

They were on a stakeout weren't they?

You go ahead, chain him to his desk ...it'll make it easer for me to kill him when I get home.




From: sbanks@cpd.cascade.wa.gov

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 5:35 PM PST

Subject: Your Partner




You are right the man is dead, and I get first shots.

He told me that you were okay with him working with Connor, that he had "everything under control" and you concurred.

Just between you and me, the guy needs a sitter, he can't be let off the leash for a second.

Aside from that "little" mishap, how's the conference going? I've been getting lots of good words on how well your presentation went. Although, Sandburg, did you have to tell everyone about diving into the fish??? I'll never hear the end of the fish-jokes.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have one detective to give a thorough lashing-to.




From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 5:47 PM PST

Subject: Re: leash


Just who do you think would be holding the leash, bucko? Who's been reining you in for the last three years, uh? Answer me that.

....when do you come home again? And what the hell is wrong with Simon? What have you told him? He shoots anymore daggers at me with those eyes of his and you'll be roommateless.



From : bsandburg@yahoo.com

To : sbanks@cpd.cascade.wa.gov

Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 8:05 PM CST

Subject: Re: Your Partner


No way Simon... He's my partner. I get first shots.

And the conference is going good. Would have been better if Jim had been with me, but I guess you know that now.

Don't tell Jim that I told the fish diving story. He thinks I left that part out when mentioning how he lost his gun.


PS: Can Jim have Friday off? I don't think he'll be in any shape to come back to work after he picks me up from the airport.



From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2000 1:11 AM CST

Subject: Re: leash



So how long were you planing on holding the leash Jim?

I was kinda hoping for something along the lines of... well... say forever?

Yeah, right.

I'm coming in Friday on Delta flight 6269, landing at 11:05 am. If you're not there to pick me up it's OK, I'll understand. I can just catch a cab back to the loft.

Oh and Simon... it's not what I told him. It's more along the line of what you forgot to tell me.

Such as not having court this week.

Got to go finish packing. Guess I'll see you at the loft when you get home.




From : bsandburg@yahoo.com

To : sbanks@cpd.cascade.wa.gov

Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2000 1:22 AM CST

Subject: Change of plans


Hey Simon,


That day I asked off for Jim? I don't think he'll be needing it. Thanks anyway.

I've got a ton of stuff for you to look over from the conference. I'll bring it in on Monday.

Oh, I've got a few days vacation right? I was wondering if I can use them next week. I was thinking of visiting my mother. She's down in San Francisco and with the airfares so cheep right now...well it was just a idea.



To: dkscully@fbi.gov

From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2000 1:38 AM CST

Subject: FBI Application


Hey Dana,

You know that application you gave me for the FBI. It seems it got misplaced. Anyway could you email me another one? And who was the guy in the Behavioral Science Unit you thought I should talk to?


Blair Sandburg



From: sbanks@cpd.cascade.wa.gov

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2000 9:35 AM PST

Subject: Re: Change of Plans




What now???


Can't you and Jim behave normally for once???

Stupid question. Forget that I asked.

Let me just tell you, Sandburg, that you and Jim account for at least half of the grey hair on my head. Not to mention giving me an ulcer. I'm contemplating early retirement just so the two of you won't be my problem anymore.

Now here's the deal. I'm ordering both you and Jim to take the next week off, starting Friday. That should give you plenty of time to work out whatever it is between the two of you.

And Blair? You're the best thing that's ever happened to Ellison, even if the man is too stubborn to admit it. Don't give up without a fight -- you didn't trash your life for the man for nothing.




From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2000 9:40 AM PST

Subject: Forever


::forever:: - I have to tell you, Sandburg, I like the sound of that.

Are we talking the same forever?

And let's face it, Chief, who really saved whose life first? Which makes you the blessed protector so there was no way in hell that I was going to tell you the truth. You deserved this week, the conference, the whole thing. And if you'd known, you'd have refused to go.

....of course, it's moot anyway, because in the future - YOU GO NOWHERE WITHOUT ME, GOT IT? .....and um, could you let up on that leash a bit?

My neck is so sensitive. Sentinel, you know. <g>

I'll be at the airport, Chief. In fact, while I realize it is only Thursday? I'm leaving now. You'll be able to recognize me, I'll be the idiot wearing the huge, lovestruck grin. You'll be the hesitant short guy that throws himself at me. We're a matched set.

Jim, who says if Sandburg ever tries to put a rhinestone collar around this neck, Sandburg will be able to report on weather conditions from Mars. I prefer - leather. With spikes.



From: bsandburg@yahoo.com

To: jje@yahoo.com

Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2000 8:52 PM CST

Subject: Re: Forever


Oh Man..

> ::forever:: - I have to tell you, Sandburg, I like

· the sound of that.

· Are we talking the same forever?


YES YES YES...at least I hope so.

You're right I'm never going anywhere without you again. Not ever letting go of that leash.

· I'll be the idiot wearing the huge, lovestruck grin.

· You'll be the hesitant short

· guy that throws himself at me. We're a matched set.


Lovestruck? As in struck by love? As in love?

And there will be no hesitating here. None at all. You're right... we are a matched set... a matched set of idiots.

Love you, miss you, can't wait to get home.


PS: You know Simon gave us all next week off to "work

things out"? <BEG>



He was not nervous. No reason to be nervous. None. So what if two men, two supposedly intelligent men had started a relationship via email.

So what. Good God, cyber romances happened every fucking day. Of course, most of those were between complete strangers, not, well, not - roommates....

He stepped into the aisle, hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and waited for the line to move. He never noticed how his foot tapped impatiently.



Jim craned his neck, searching every window for the one passenger and - he had him. Jim smiled stupidly. He was fucking lovestruck. Had been for how long now? He should be used to it, but this was different. The guy he was meeting was, as it turned out, equally lovestruck.

Gee world, to think it had only taken three years to get here. Three years of living and working together. Hey, no one could accuse them of taking it slow and cautious, no siree.

Jim could see the passengers moving up the aisle and he stepped forward a bit, unashamedly anxious to catch his first glimpse of Sandburg. A different Sandburg.

Damn, this was strange.

The passengers exited in clumps and Jim focused his senses, trying to spot him before it was otherwise possible. He needn't have worried.

He saw the sign first, as did everyone else.

A square white placard, held up by hands that only he could tell were shaking. A placard that read:


Jim didn't pause. He moved toward Sandburg, his grin suddenly, oddly, shy. In a voice for Blair only, he said, "Hey, short guy."

"Short in stature but long in..."


Their smiles grew, eyes barely able to contain the energy that threatened to spill over, to ignite.

Without conscious thought, both men started for the exit, arms brushing lightly as they walked side by side. Jim guided Sandburg to the truck and they headed home.

The trip was quiet - strangely so. But not uncomfortable. In fact, the quiet was heavy with unspoken thoughts and emotions, emotions that enveloped the two men, making conversation superfluous.

Jim parked, and as if operating on a single impulse, both exited the truck and walked rather sedately inside, into the elevator and finally into #307.

Blair took his bag and laptop into his room, dropped both onto the bed, then walked back out to find Jim standing right where he'd left him.

He walked to within a few inches of Jim and smiling up at him, said, "Interesting week, uh?"

"One for the record books, Chief."

"So. Any plans for our week off?"

Jim scratched his head in thought, then, "Well, I really need to work on the truck and you're committed to fixing the toilet, then of course, the laundry..."

"So under the hood, plumbing and washing, right?"

"That about covers it."

"Okay, the way I see it, you check under my hood, I'll work on your plumbing and whoever's conscious when we're done, cleans up. Deal?"

Jim held out his hand. "Deal."

Blair's hand slid into Jim's and somehow, his whole body ended up pressed against Jim's.

"I brought you something from Chicago. Wanna see it?"

Jim slipped his hand down between them and rubbed the hardness that pressed against his thigh. "Gee, Sandburg, I think I've identified it. Great souvenir."

A deep chuckle thrummed against his chest as Sandburg's head lowered. A hand fumbled in a pocket and a moment later, Blair was holding something up in front of Jim's face.

Pale blue eyes crinkled in mirth as Jim recognized the object. A black leather - cock ring. Jim took it from the trembling fingers and smiled as he turned it between his fingers and the one, lone rhinestone twinkled merrily at him.

"I thought I said no rhinestones, Chief?"

"For your collar. This one is - mine."

Jim searched the upturned face, noted the laugh buried in the smoky blue depths of Sandburg's eyes, the just barely turned up corners of those lips, the dark shadow that graced the man's jaw-and he focused on the jaw, the squareness of it, the stubborn chin-and his eyes traveled back up, memorizing this moment, the moment before...

He bent his head and took it. The first kiss. Only - it was given. Demanded.


The wetness, the sliding lips, the soft-hardness of it, his first feel of Sandburg's tongue, the immediate ownership that tongue exhibited, and god, the sheer deliciousness of that tongue...

...and the hands, gliding over him, pausing every now and then to truly enjoy, the way the hands slipped his shirt from out of his waistband and the sudden knowledge that he, Detective James Ellison, was being seduced to within an inch of his life and he - liked, no, loved it, was perhaps the best part. That Blair Sandburg was seducing him, loving him, and touches that had always sent slight shivers through his body, just because the touches were from Blair, now sent electric currents surging through his body and he had this ridiculous notion that he could, right now, light up the city of Cascade for the next week.

Jim felt himself being gently maneuvered backward until his back came

to rest against the door. Those hands were back, this time at his zipper,

and even as their tongues entwined, sucked and even as teeth nipped,

his now rock-hard penis was being drawn out and with a unimaginable pain,

the tongue left his mouth and he tried to open his eyes, eyes suddenly

unable to focus, and the rich, dark brown hair seemed to be going down




· and Blair was on his knees in front of Jim, his hands on Jim's now naked thighs, which surprised Jim, because he didn't remember his slacks being pushed down, but evidently-

· he jerked, a gasp of surprise wrenched from him as Blair's mouth closed over his dick...


God, that mouth closing over him, those lips wrapped around him, sliding up, then down, then back up, fingers gently skimming his skin, thumbs pressing in and the head bobbing...

...he could zone on that head... fall into what it signified, giving in to every sense, letting them take over...

Ah, God....his balls, Blair was now rolling...his...balls, gently, tenderly, rubbing, smoothing over them as his dick was pulled in deeper, pulled into that mouth, and his head dropped back, hit the door, eyes finally closing in esctacy, and he was coming, fingers gripping chunks of hair as he filled Blair-



Sandburg was smiling up at him, licking his lips, looking every inch the satisfied animal. Jim fixated on that mouth again, he needed it, needed it...



Blair was pushed back as slowly, almost lazily, Jim slid to his knees, hands on Sandburg's shoulders, pressing him back, pressing him down... and whispering, "my turn, my turn."

His shirt was carefully unbuttoned, the edges spread out, Jim's eyes dancing as they roamed his chest, hands still not touching.

He was on his back, legs splayed out and Jim was leaning over him, staring at him now, at his mouth and they were kissing again, sharing tastes, his own fingers struggling with Jim's shirt, pushing it off those broad shoulders.

He could feel Jim trying to kick his slacks and boxers from his ankles as he licked his way down Blair's chest and he must have succeeded because a knee spread his own legs even wider apart and Blair's stomach quivered, his muscles constricting...

...God, Jim's tongue, dipping into his navel, then Jim looking up at him, almost smirking as he spoke low, promising...

How, his jeans, sliding down, when? And when had his briefs disappeared? Jim was poised over him, his expression one of - complete - ownership, of anticipation, his smile, wicked.

"now - under the hood, check your timing, you know? The spark plugs, make sure you're firing on all cylinders ..."

"sparks, cylinders...ah, um...right..."

"you did such a fine job with my plumbing...the least i can do..."

"my room - proper lubricants required..."

Jim looked up, eyes narrowing, a gleam entering them-"yes, lubricants." He was up and gone and Blair was alone, but he didn't move, just closed his eyes and listened, heard the rummaging, the exclamation of discovery, the socked feet and their hurried trip back, then the shadow, looming over him and he opened his eyes and nearly burst out laughing. Jim looked so - so - joyous. In a maniacal kind of way.

Jim was down again, staring at the tube in his hand, one eyebrow up...

"ah, 10-40, Penzoil, the finest."

"only the best for this engine."

Together, they prepared Jim, laughter moving between them as both impatiently and somewhat clumsily rolled the condom, then started squeezing and smearing, getting a little carried away, more nervous laughter breaking out, but finally, finally, both were ready and one leg was hoisted over Jim's shoulder, Blair's hips rising from the floor, bringing his butt into contact with Jim and his whole body shivered, eyes closing, muscles spasming...

...then Jim was there, pressing in, the expected pain, the unexpected sudden kiss, the hand stroking his dick, the soft words, his first thrust, Jim's tongue matching the movement of his dick buried - inside Blair and they were moving, moving together, their unison astounding.

Blair watched the sweat trickle down Jim's face, reveled in the man's concentration, shaken by the intense look as Jim gazed at his face, at his mouth and he pulled him down, took his tongue again, sucked it in, and Jim slowed his thrusts, eased in and stayed a moment, an eternity as Jim captured Blair's head between his hands, fingers twisting hair, curls winding around the digits, and it seemed his body was rising up, that Jim was moving again, harder, deeper, his body pressing Blair's cock, trapping it, stroking it and he was coming, he was full, he was connected to this man, he couldn't tell his body from Jim's, Jim's arms from his, his - - he was yelling and Jim was coming, and - god - he - could - feel...




Soft, deep, warm, a bed, a pillow, an arm dropped over his chest - Jim.

He was upstairs - in Jim's bed. It was dark - it was night. Late? Early? He turned his head and caught the muted glow of the clock - it was early, only nine.

He turned back to look at the sleeping man beside him and he grinned, a big, foolish grin because he was in Jim's bed and he really needed to thank Simon for this, thank him for sending him to Chicago and who invented emails? Really needed to thank that guy.

He lifted the sheet and slid out from under Jim's arm, then swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He really needed to take a leak and damn, he needed to tell a certain FBI agent not to bother with sending him a new application...

He padded downstairs, took care of business, washed his hands then walked into his old room, unzipped his laptop, set it up on his desk, then sitting down, he turned it on, moved into Microsoft Outlook and was surprised to find that he had one email. He clicked on the mailbox and his eyes widened as he read:

From: jje@yahoo.com

To: bsandburg@yahoo.com

Sent: Friday, October 06, 2000 9:52 PM PST

Subject: Re: Forever


By now, I've already picked you up at the airport but I doubt that I'll actually be able to say everything you need to hear. So I'm saying it here. Seems fitting. :)

Okay, I'm sure that at some point I told you I loved you. A whisper before the first clumsy kiss, or maybe as I gazed down at you in the airport, or even in the throes of passion (I'm fairly certain there will be and has already been throes and definitely passion and by now, you've discovered that I'm a sex machine and you're doubting your ability to keep up but don't lose any sleep over it. Yes, I just made a joke) or maybe I could only say it while you slept?


I love you. Corny, uh? But more importantly, Chief - Thank You.

And yes, I can hear you now: "Clumsy first kiss? From Blair Sandburg?



your partner for life and beyond


PS: We really need to find a way to thank Simon and the guy that invented email.


Blair sat back and stared at the screen in front of him. Then he leaned forward and re-read it. Then again - and again. Finally, he saved the email, shut down, peeled his naked butt from the seat and walked upstairs.

He lifted the covers and slid in beside the dark shape. Rolling onto his side, he propped his head on his hand and watched his partner for life and beyond. After several minutes, he leaned in and whispered, "i love you, jim."

The figure moved, arms reached out and Blair found himself reeled in and plastered against the broad chest.

"love you too, chief."


::heard on the Ellison-Sandburg answering machine - 2130hrs::

"Ellison? Sandburg? Pick up."

::heard on the Ellison-Sandburg answering machine - 2145hrs::

"Detective Ellison? Detective Sandburg? This is your Captain. Pick up now. That's an order."

::heard on the Ellison-Sandburg answering machine - 2200hrs::

"Jim? Blair? Did you talk? Blair, have you fixed him yet? Come on, guys."

::heard on the Ellison-Sandburg answering machine - 2215hrs::

"Fuck.You're both fired."


~end Male Exchange~