Two Gentlemen Of Oz
In the style of Shakespeare, buggered up by K9

Dramatis Personae

Tobias, a fallen lawgiver
Christopher, a warrior & scoundrel
Vernon, a demon in human form, leader of the House of Aryan
Said, a holy man, leader of the House of Muslim
Ryan, a law breaker, and friend to Christopher

SCENE: A cell in Ye Olde Oswald State Correctional Facility, the prison barracks attached to the royal palace.

Enter: Tobias and Christopher.

Tobias has finally returned from the healer. Christopher is wracked with guilt over his part in the betrayal of the man who trusted him

Tobias limps through the door, seating himself upon the bed, cane at his side.
Christopher leans against the wall, face belying pain and confusion.

Christopher: I know thou have no need to heed my words, but still I must protest my pain and sorrow for the wrong I did thee.

Tobias: *with sarcasm* Thou hast sorrow in thy heart? What form of trickery is this? What shape of fool dost thou see in me?

Christopher: No fool. No trickery.

Tobias: Words fall so hollow and bitter from thy tongue.

Christopher: I wish it were that I could open up my heart and show thee the truth within.

Tobias: Oh, thou couldst open up thy heart! I would gladly hand thee the blade to do it!

Christopher: Speak! Tell me what might I do to still thy rage?

Tobias: *with sarcasm* My catamite thou couldst becomest?

Christopher: *sighs* Break my body, tear my flesh, I shall not deny thee a moment of the pain. I shall fall back upon my sword for thee, if it would only prove my love.

Tobias: Love? Thou art without love! No tender passion stills thy hand. No sweet surrender fills thee. Only malice and hate consume thy bosom. Liar! Charlatan! Traitor!

Christopher: What dost thou require of me, that I might prove my fealty? How might I regain thy trust...thy love? How far might I fall before forgiveness is complete? Should I prostrate myself before thee, swear my allegiance to thy service?

Tobias: Speak the truth! Plunge the poison arrow into thine own heart, and the hearts of those who aided that evil deed.

Christopher: I cannot! I should surely die for my treachery.

Tobias: Has not thine heart already died from the treachery thou made’st true that day? Does not the pain poison every waking moment?

Christopher: Yea, a thousand times, yea!

Tobias: *sitting up, leaning close to Christopher* Then plunge the arrow deep and feel it burn. Let thy treacherous tongue dance against thy master.

Christopher: *angrily* As is thy wish! See now a man who speaks the truth and the devil take the consequence! I shall prove my words true, and my heart unsullied by mine own actions shall speak for me.

Tobias: I shall not hold my breath lest I see a man of true heart in my company.

Christopher: Unmoved by my declaration, thou sit’st in judgement of my past misfortune. How dost thou judge thyself, I wonder?
Dost thou claim an unsullied soul? Art thou more complete in they penance than I? Might God judge by action or by heart? How might he judge we two sorry souls?

Tobias: Pretty words to clothe thy sin, I fear.

Christopher throws a goblet against the wall, shattering it.

Christopher: Damn thee to hell, fornicator!

Christopher exits, calling for the guard.

Act 2

Some time later.

Christopher is recovering from a dagger in the back. He returns to Tobias, and his home.

Tobias: Thou returnest.

Christopher: Aye. Mine enemy must sleep another night without the pleasure of my death within his dreams.

Tobias: Why so death? Is not thy suffering his pleasure?

Christopher: Vernon would have me die, that I might wipe away his shame.

Tobias: Shame shared by many.

Christopher: Indeed.

Tobias: *smiling* Though now one less, I see.

Christopher: One enemy fallen, aye, so it is.

Tobias: *taking a deep breath* Ah, sweet was his passing to me. Death of that child by mine own hand was spiteful and filled with sorrow. Long shall my demons tear my heart to shreds at her broken image. Yet, his passing was like fire in my belly. His blood spilled lovingly upon the ground, warm, and subtle, as his life ebbed away... just as the spilling of your blood was like sweet wine to me.

Christopher recoils in horror

Tobias: Huddled in the darkness, fear stinking the room, uttering words of defiance whilst stacking pages upon the shelf. So brave, so willing to die. So unaccustomed to humility ‘til that blade did sting thy flesh.

Christopher: T’was thy blade which wished to claimed my life? That claimed the life of another betrayer before me?

Tobias: *smiles, shrugs* Jesting is my nature. Too frail and maiden like am I to cause harm.

Christopher: Then tell me, how couldst thou know my mission if thou shared no part in my downfall?

Tobias: Hmmm? Maybe t’was I, and in my frailty, I forget my actions?

Curtain closes end act two.


Act 3 –War ensues.

Tobias and Christopher remain estranged, their words bitter and unyielding. Each allies themselves to another’s house, the trust they once shared shattered and broken.

Scene: Enclosed yard used to take exercise.

Tobias and Said, leader of the Muslim house, converse by the entrance-way. Christopher meditates in the corner, accompanied by Ryan.
Enter Vernon and James, their soldiers behind them.

Tobias approaches Vernon, a flag of truce unfurled.

Tobias: Vernon. Is this not the time for we two men to bring about change? Let us embrace this flag of truce, and once more, our houses shall stand together in harmony?

Vernon: What foolery is this? What viper’s tongue speaks that I should hear?

Tobias: I speak in friendship, not in falsehood.

Vernon: *glares* So say thee?

Tobias: *nods slowly* So say I.

Vernon: *reaching into his doublet for his dagger* The only peace my heart shall know, shall be as thy corpse is dragged by wild horses into hell’s very depths, and thy children are but a memory in time’s cold heart!

Unarmed, and under a flag of truce, Tobias withdraws as Vernon slash’s the air with his dagger.

Tobias: Vile dog! That a man such as thee should stain the flag of truce belies the man thou art. Stinking gutter mongrel!

Vernon: Die! Let thy lips still for all eternity that I should find peace at last!

Vernon stabs Tobias in the chest.
Said rushes at James, followers from both camps assemble in frantic war.
As Vernon prepares to slide the dagger into Tobias’ heart, Christopher stabs him in the back.
Christopher moves to cover Tobias’ prone body with his own, gathering him into his arms, as the palace guard rush to break up the riot.


Act 4 –Forgiveness
Scene 1 –The balcony above the exercise yard in the palace prison.

Tobias, now healed once more, stands upon the balcony. He looks across the divide to where stands Christopher.

Tobias: Many thanks have I to praise thee with, for my life is thine. Had not thine arms swept me from danger, my death a whisper on the breeze wouldst now be.

Christopher: No thanks are required. Thy life renewed is my reward.

Tobias: *smiles* Still, shall I thank thee. My hearth is once more thine to sit beside, my hand thine to take in friendship, should we be agreed so?

Christopher: My hand, my sword to command, my heart, as ever, is thine to take, and do with as thou wilt.

Tobias: *smiling widely* So shall I make special favour of thine heart, if thou wouldst forgive my folly?

Christopher: No forgiveness is required.

Tobias and Christopher move around the balcony, until they meet face to face. They clasp hands warmly. Reconciled, they retire to their homestead.

Christopher: Sweet is the hearth thou sits beside; and sweet thy very breath. Sweeter still are these things now once more we share.

Tobias moves to stand before Christopher; his hand reaches for Christopher’s face.

Tobias: Full fair is your countenance to me. My spirit has mourned thy parting, and bitter words we spoke. How foolish is a man parted from his other half, split in two by sinister whispers from the very devil himself? Why couldst I not see the folly in our feud?

Christopher: Demons conspired in our parting, no mortal man could see their meddling and truly feel unmoved. Ne’er mind the past, too true is our future, that we might be together and fear their words.

Tobias: No fear have I a’more. My dreams are realised, and once more thy skin is against my flesh.
*Tobias moves in closer, resting against Christopher*
Tobias: To feel thy breath upon my face, thy languid kiss upon my lips. For these moments revisited, I would risk perditions flames.

Christopher: We shall revisit and renew our passion. Too long have I craved thy flesh to be feared of hells flames, or the devils promises.

Tobias: Touch me, let me know thy pleasure, I beg thee. Proud am I against thy touch, now as ever before.

Christopher: *closes his eyes, traces his fingers across Tobias’ lips* Should mine eyes dull for all time, would I wish to know thy body in my heart and mind. Taste thy lips as if wine to a thirsty man. Know thy flesh as if mine own.

Tobias: Then take my body, take my will, and toy with mine heart at thy pleasure. Let not the darkness we have shared spoil one moment of our joy. Let only the delights of the flesh bathe our memories for this night.

Christopher: Thou art my fancy and my temptation. Assumed my catamite, I am in all measure thy slave! My desire for thee is a crashing wave upon a slowly silting shore.

Christopher touches his lips to Tobias’, shuddering as their bodies blend as one.

Tobias: *breathless* Prudence should be our guide, lest those who misunderstand our love interfere. Come, my love, into the shadows shall we blend and find the path of our desire into the darkness and beyond.

Christopher: Lead me into that darkness, and I shall surely follow. No path shall be denied us; together we shall find an angel’s arms to rest within.

Tobias: I have mine own angels arms about me.

Fade to black

End scene

Curtain closes