by alyjude


PEP TALK #1 - Blair

"Jim, I love you."


"Jim, I think I should tell you....I'm very attracted to you."

No. <cough>

"Jim, sweetie, honey, baby...."

No, that would only work if he were *Jill* or Naomi.....

"YO, Jim. Dude. My man. I think I'm liking you, very much."

Shit. No. Okay, try this.

"Hey, Jimbo, wanna fuck?"

Classy. Very classy. NOT!

"Okay, Jim. Here's the deal. I - find myself strangely attracted to you....."

Oh, yeah, that'll make him feel good. Strangely attracted? Fuck.

Blair stared at his reflection in the mirror. This wasn't working. Practise should work. Practise makes perfect, right? Isn't that what they say?

"Jim, um, what would you say if a friend came up to you and out of the clear blue sky, told you he, I mean, she, loved you?"

Hey, not bad. That one could work. A little fine tuning. A change here and, "Jim, um, what would you say if a friend came up and said, "Jim, I love your body and desire to worship at its altar for the rest of my life?" What you say to that, Jim?"


"Jim, could you love a short, hyper, jewish boy?"

"Jim, could you be attracted to a short, hyper, messy, strange, weird, jewish boy?"

"Jim, could you fuck a wonderful, brilliant, active, spontaneous, kinda short, kinda jewish guy?"

"Jim, have you noticed my smile? It's my best feature. Well, some would say that. Others would say that, well, my.....I have a nice right thumb."

Not working. Of course, the long yellow stripe down my back may be interfering.

Blair stared.

"You coward."

Blair nodded, enthusiastically.

One more try.

"Jim, I've noticed a change in our relationship in the last couple of months. It's going downhill - fast. Has anyone ever told you about the *MOMENT*?"


"Well, allow me. It is said, that in every relationship, between two people, there comes a moment. It's the moment where they either move forward, to the next level, or they move back. Away."

"Jim, we've reached that MOMENT."

"Yes, Jim, I know. We're two men. Partners. Roommates. And I know just what you're thinking. There is no MOMENT for two friends. Two *male* friends. But, you like men, right? You've had history with men, yes? Wouldn't you like a history with me?"


Blair drummed his fingers on the bathroom sink. What if he says - no?

Jesus, what do I do then?



PEP TALK #2 - Jim

"Blair, I want you."

Fuck, no.

"Chief? Wanna fuck?"

Great, Ellison, he'll run out of here faster than a bullet.

"Chief, are you attracted to me?"

Um, close, but no go.

"Chief, what would you say if I said I was attracted to you?"

Too long. You'll never finish the sentence.

God, maybe it'll be easier just to grab him and lay a liplock on him.

Except, what if he *really* doesn't want it?

"Chief, I love you."

Shit, that was the truth, wasn't it? The goddamn fucking truth.

God, what am I supposed to do with a truth like that?

Fucked. I'm totally fucked. Never do to fall in love with a straight man. Never do to fall in love with a straight man who's your *best friend.*

Your Guide. Your Partner. Your life.




PEP TALK #3 - Blair

If he says no.....I'll kill myself. Horribly. Tragically. Romeo was a wuss compared to me. Um, maybe the Viking funeral......only - I'm alive. Yeah, that would work. Or - I starve myself to death - in protest. Or - I chain myself to Jim's chest.....<giggle>

He checked himself out in the mirror again.....

What if he really says no?

"Gee, Chief, I like you - I even love you - just not *that* way, you know?"

He could say that - and he would, just like that. His eyes would be all warm, his face slightly red - from embarrasment, his voice, kind of cracking.....and the look he'd give me - he'd be so sorry.....and I'd see the pity then.....

Fuck - not the *pity* look. That was worse than the "but you're *nice*, Blair" phrase he'd heard all the way through puberty.....

But maybe, just maybe, he'd see something else. Maybe - he'd see - love.

Maybe he'd see, surprise and joy? Maybe he'd see - confusion? Hurt? Desperation?

Maybe you'd better stop all this nonsense right now.

Just - do - it.

Man or mouse?

Blair left the bathroom and headed to the kitchen, experiencing a sudden desire for a nice chunk of cheese.

And was that his nose tweaking?

~~~m^> ~~~m^> ~~~m^>


PEP TALK #4 - Jim

Jim parked and sat. He really didn't have the nerve for this. Really. He didn't. Crash and burn time. Been there - done that.

But wait. He was a Sentinel and just exactly *why* had he gotten this idea in his head to begin with? Because - his partner was sending messages like Western Union. Messages some other dupe would miss, but not him. Oh, no, not him.

Blair didn't stutter. Until recently. Now, he stutters - but just around Jim. And only when they're alone. And he's leaking pheromones like Two Mile Island......but only around Jim. So being the good detective and the good little sentinel, he'd gotten it into his head that Blair was attracted to him......but what if he were wrong?

You're - not - wrong.

No, I'm not. Because that would mean no Blair Sandburg in my bed. Ever. Can't have that. Must have Blair Sandburg in my bed. *Our* bed. Soon. Now.

Just - do - it.


Jim climbed out of the truck, absently scratching his back, in approximately the same location as that long yellow streak.......

##m^> ##m^> ##m^>

PEP TALK #5 - The moment of truth

Blair decided, while munching on a thick, pungent wedge of cheese, to take a walk. To think, perchance to find courage.....he took another bite of cheese.

As he stepped outside, he saw Jim's truck and coincidently - Jim. The detective was standing by the driver's door, gazing up at the loft. He looked preoccupied or as if something might be wrong....Blair stepped out onto the curb and glanced up, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

He turned back and noticed that Jim was walking toward him....looking like a scared jack rabbit.

Blair lifted the hand with the wedge of cheese, to wave, but a sound from his right caught his attention. A truck, moving quickly down the street and directly toward Jim. Who didn't see it, or apparently hear it.


Jim *the doofus* Ellison, just smiled wider and waved.

Oh, for crying out loud, not again. Man, he really hated this, it totally sucked - big time. He threw down the cheese and ran.

Jim noticed Blair on the sidewalk and started toward him, his mind on only one thing - the cowardly lion. Who'd had the courage all along. Well, if Jim Ellison wasn't as brave as that stupid lion.....then he'd be a hornswaggled bugler. So there.

Blair was yelling, and to the lovestruck Sentinel it sounded like, "JIM! I LOVE YOU!" So he grinned wider and waved. Then Blair was running toward him and it was just like a commercial, two people, in a field of daisies, running toward each other, arms outstretched, and no, he had no intention of *ever* telling Blair about this - hell, he had a rep to protect....


Two bodies went flat as the huge cement truck thundered over them. As light once again made an appearance, Blair jumped up and yelled, "I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!"

Jim, wisely, stayed where he was, face down on the asphalt. Discretion and all that shit.

Blair circled two times to his left, then two times to his right, arms waving madly, hair flying, as the truck driver sped on.....completely unconcerned that he'd almost made pate out of one Sentinel of the Great City and one Shaman of the Great City. Crackers anyone?


"....chopped liver?" came the muffled response from the ground.


"....til you get it right?" came the muffled but now slightly angry response from the ground.






"....fine, be that way" came the muffled, slightly angry and definitely

indignant response from the ground.


Blair looked up to the heavens and yelled, "I NEED A DRINK!"


He stomped off, toward the corner bar called The Thirsty Isle, with every intention of getting shitfaced drunk. The big oaf. How dare he?

Jim sighed, rolled over, and ignoring the spectators who now stood smiling on the sidewalks, stared up at the blue sky. This was not what he'd planned. He really should get up. Really. He should. He got up, to wild applause from the neighbors. He took a slight bow, brushed off his pants and followed his Blessed Protector into The Thirsty Isle.

##m^> <^m~~~


PEP TALK #6 - The *real* moment of truth

He stepped inside, let his eyes adjust to the typical bar darkness, then looked for Blair. He found him, seated at the bar, four shot glasses in front of him, two empty, two full.

Jim swung a leg over the stool next to his partner and at the query, "What'll ya have?" he said, "Same as him" while jerking a thumb in Blair's direction.

The bartender lined up four glasses and poured Tequila Gold into them. Jim threw back the first one, plunked the glass down then drank the second. When he set that glass down, he turned to Blair and said, "You okay?"

"Oh, shut up."


Blair knocked back his third, Jim doing the same. They both smacked their lips and eyed the fourth.

"Have you ever been drunk, Jim? Since...since, well, since you-know-what?"

"Nope. Have you *ever* been drunk?"

"You won't think less of me if I tell you the truth?"

"Yes. But so what?"


"Yep. So, have you?"

"No. Never. Not even when I had a whole glass of champagne at Naomi's almost wedding."

Jim turned a bleary, tequila-watering eye to his best friend in the whole world and said, "Almost wedding? And you can't get drunk on one glass of champagne, Chief."

"If you're six at the time? And the glass is a hot chocolate mug? Andyou poured the stuff all the way to the top?"

"Okay, that could do it. But you didn't?"

Blair turned a very confused, tequila-fuddled look to his best friend in the whole world and said, "Didn't what? Get drunk, get married, or....what were we saying?"

"Naomi was getting married, you were drinking champagne - laced hot chocolate and you weren't drunk."

"Don't be silly. Naomi never got married. And who in their right mind would drink champagne laced hot chocolate? You know, you really shouldn't drink, Jim, not if you can't hold your liquor."

"I know." He stared morosely into his last shot glass. "It's a curse. Not being able to hold your liquor."

Blair patted his arm clumsily, saying, "Poor baby, my poor baby. I love you."

Jim picked up his shot glass, held it out to Blair, who immediately picked up his, and as they clinked glasses, Jim said, "I love you too. Wanna go home and fuck?"

They swallowed, licked their lips and Blair said, "I don't think we should fuck right now - could be dangerous. Why don't we just go home, get naked, crawl into your bed, you can have the blue vomit bowl, I'll take the red one and then tomorrow, when the jackhammers stop, we'll fuck, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan to me. Let's go."

Blair fumbled in his pants pocket, found some money, dropped it on the bar, both men stood, waited until the room stopped spinning, then with arms around each other's waist, they walked out and into the sunshine.

The bartender took the money and smiled when he heard, "FUCK, THAT'S BRIGHT! TURN IT DOWN, CHIEF!"



(PS: but as soon as their headache is gone....I'll do the epilogue with the sex)


PEP TALK - epilogue


Two o'clock. PM.

Blair rolled over, eyes squinting as unaccustomed light hit his eyes. He brought up one hand to shield his face, peeked through fingers - skylight.

But - he didn't have a skylight.

Drunk. He remembered that. Had he *made* a skylight, while drunk? Nice one. Good job.


That wasn't him. He didn't just grunt.


That wasn't him either. Felt like moaning, but as yet - hadn't.

He - slowly - turned - his - head.

Jim. Lump of Jim. Sexy, naked lump of Jim.

Blair lifted the sheet, glanced down - gosh, he was naked too. Cool.

He wiggled - he sniffed - he shifted. Nothing. He wasn't sore, no stickiness, no aftersexsmell.


Pounding, jackhammers.....head hurt, eyes hurt. Hell, his fucking teeth hurt. His fucking *ears* hurt. Damn, his *bellybutton* hurt.

Jackhammers - something about jackhammers.


He sat straight up and immediately grabbed his aching head. Bad move -that move.


The lump blue eye opened, regarded him, the mouth that usually lectured to him, smiled.

A dreamy, wide, secretive smile. Blair fell in love all over again.

" can take that grin right off your lips - we didn't."

"....yet, Chief, yet."

A twitch - under the sheet. He lifted it again, just out of curiousity......yep, wide awake. He grinned right back at Jim.

"...but first - bathroom."

He swung his legs over the edge of Jim's bed and immediately stepped into a red bowl of liquid.


" didn't. don't worry, just water."

Grateful, Blair padded downstairs, relieved himself, wondered about Jim and like, didn't he have to pee? Then back upstairs to that same grin, and *two* pale blues gazing at him.

He came to earth with a thud. He was naked.

And Jim was looking at him. He resisted the urge to run to the store for a fig leaf. He also resisted the urge to place his hands in front of him. He decided to smile instead. It worked, Jim's eyes slid up.

"...morning, by the way."

"Morning, Jim." He started to slide back under the covers when doubts assailed him - this wasn't his room.....or his bed.....

"...get the fuck in here you idiot."

All doubts were blown sky-high. Thank God.

He jumped in.


"Hi yourself. How you feeling this morning?"

"other than the seven linebackers currently practicing in my head - good."

"ah, I have eight. But they're all trying to get to you. Quite a battle, leap frogging all over the damn field....keep talking about a cute ass...."

Blair shifted on his side, lifted the blanket, twisted his head, regarded his ass with great care and scrutiny.....

"um, well - it's okay, not Mel Gibson, or Brad Pitt....but okay."

"Mel or Brad should be so lucky to have your ass, both figuratively and literally."

"so, you like my ass?"

"Very. Mine?"

"Very. Not perfect, mind, but on a ranking of 1 - 10 with 10 being perfect - you rank an eight."

"I'd be insulted, except the last guy ranked me a five."

"He was a dolt."

Both men were now on their sides, heads propped on hands and just - looking - and smiling as they talked nonsense.

"Got any ideas on what you'd like to do today?"

"Well, I feel I should get to know your ass - see if I can upgrade it to - say - a nine?"

"I'd be most appreciative. Would look good on my resume."

"um, yes - I can see your ass on a resume...."

Blair leaned in, eyes fixed on Jim's mouth and Jim let him come and their lips touched, then explored and Jim felt one of Blair's hands moving up his arm and with a shock, he realized that Blair was making a move on him!

"Jesus. You're making a move on me."

Blair pulled back and chuckled. "Well, duh."

"I just...I mean, I always, I mean, you know..."

"Bigger and older? The big buff dude making the moves on the younger one?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, have you know?"

"You're kidding, right?"

Jim shook his head and continued to look totally stupefied. And adorable.

"Jim, Jim, Jim, what am I going to do with you? I have been with men. Okay?"


"But not since moving in with you. I figured it was bad enough that you got saddled with this long haired, jewelry wearing geek, you shouldn't have to deal with everyone labeling me. And it's not like I don't like women. So sue me."

"I'm stunned."

Blair shrugged and smiled. His hand moved back to Jim's arm, his eyes focusing on Jim's chest.

"Maybe I haven't been with...."

"..with a guy? You have. Shit, you're the poster boy for gay youth everywhere."

"Was that a compliment?"

"um....", his hand began to travel up the muscled chest as his tongue snuck out and ran slowly across his bottom lip.

"And you?"

"Me? I'd have been the gay geek with six of your posters plastered all over my room so that no matter where I jacked off, you'd be there so that I could see you....."

"Flattery will get you in everywhere."

"Like here?" Blair dove toward Jim's mouth and they kissed again, and again Blair's hand was stroking as his body shifted closer and Jim realized he was about to be thoroughly possessed and claimed and he resisted the ridiculous impulse to just lie back, spread his arms and legs and say, "Take me".....

.....on the other hand.....

"...liking this....." he breathed out.

"i should hope so...." Blair said breathlessly, his lips having already left Jim's mouth to travel down his neck, pausing at that sweet spot to the left of Jim's adams apple where he suckled roughly, as he positioned his body over Jim's, straddling him, knees on either side, hands flat on each side of Jim's head.....and he continued to slide....raining kisses on that gorgeous chest, watching with half opened eyes as the muscles rippled for him....and he commanded, "Grab the rail, Jim, and keep them there."

Jim raised his arms and did as instructed....and he felt a rush of heat directly to his groin at the *idea* of it, of the command, of the desire in Blair's eyes, desire for him......

Blair kissed every inch of skin, tongue licking, spending valued time with Jim's armpits, delighting in the older man's writhing, the moans he tried so hard to suppress.....then Blair traveled down to Jim's side, where he lavished attention to his hip, to the curve between waist and hip, dipping in and licking, kissing and biting as Jim jerked up, eyes wide, wondering how the hell Blair *knew* he knew every spot.....

By the time Blair reached his cock, Jim was jello - runny, wiggly jello. And when Blair took into his mouth.....Jim did something he'd never been pushed to do - he screamed. Bloody murder. And could have killed when he saw through slits that were his eyes, the wicked, satisfied grin of his torturer.

But of course, Blair wasn't done. Even as he teased and tortured Jim with his mouth, licking, nipping, humming around his throbbing member, his hands were lifting Jim's hips and a finger was teasing his Jim spread his legs wider, lifted his hips higher and felt like a schoolboy who'd been very good.... this was so very much more, so much *Blair* - for him, all for him.....

"blair...god, please.....more..."

Blair let his mouth slide from Jim's cock, but he stayed down, broughhis finger back up and teased it along Jim's mouth then said, "Suck for me, James."

Jim took it in, tasted Blair, loved the finger and with a moan, lost it as Blair removed it, put it in his own mouth, sucked deliciously, eyes glittering as he watched the naked need in Jim's eyes.....

The mouth closed around Jim's cock again, and the finger moved inside, in and out, in and out, the rhythm matched by Blair's and out, up and down, and Jim's eyes closed, his body surrendering, his fingers clenching the rails, knuckles white.....hips thrusting up, down, up, down.....his body was awash in sensation, all controlled by his guide.......and he wanted to come, now, was close, and then he was almost there when the mouth left his cock, but because the fingers were still there, he barely registered Blair lifting his legs, spreading them, one hooked over the younger man's shoulder......and the fingers were gone, lips were on a nipple, something cool entered him.....then - Blair....god, Blair, inside him.....

"open your eyes, James, want to see you....."

His eyes flew open, to connect with the nearly black orbs of Blair's and they were making love, Blair thrusting in, Jim thrusting back, eyes never leaving each other, even when Blair leaned down to kiss him......their eyes remained open, locked, loving, one hand of Blair's on his shoulder, bracing himself with Jim's body, as he pounded, as he took each of Jim's thrusts back....and his other hand took Jim's cock, began a frantic pumping, and they were both close wonderfully close.....

"now, now,, Blair, now...."

"yes, now...." and he pumped and pounded and Jim came, hot semen spurting over Blair's hand, and Blair followed moments later, shooting deep, his climax silent......then falling forward - into Jim's arms.




".....a 10....."

"...i'd like to thank my agent, and all the little people...."

"....that would be me...."

"um, yes....thank you."

"love you, you know."

"i know, who else would hold my head while I puked in *his* red bowl?"

Blair lurched up and yelled, "YOU FUCKER, YOU!"