Rating: NC-17

Pairings: J/B

Warnings: m/m

Archive category: First Times

Disclaimers: All recognizable Sentinel characters are copyright of Pet Fly Productions and Paramount. No infringement intended on my part.... just doing some wishful thinking. :-)

Notes: This one's all for Maig, who won it at the latest slash story auction. My thanks to her once again for bidding on it and for writing all those letters!

Summary: Blair's headache is the catalyst that brings the two men together.

Date completed: June 17, 1999



You Take the Pain Away

by Barbara Nice-Miller




It was a cross between a moan and a whimper that woke Jim Ellison from a sound sleep. His eyes snapped open, senses instantly alert, searching the darkened loft. His sensitive hearing immediately picked up on his Guide's heartbeat below him. He cataloged it and moved on, relaxing infinitesimally when he detected no other presence in his home. Another moan reached his ears and Jim sat up, concern etched on his handsome features.

He pushed back the blankets and rose from the bed, clad only in his plaid boxers, and started for the stairs, determined to find out what was causing Blair such distress. Halfway down he paused, realizing he'd done it again. The only way he could have heard Blair's soft moan was if he'd been listening while asleep. He'd been doing that more and more lately, unconsciously tuning into his roommate's heartbeat and breathing before dropping off to sleep. More than once he'd awoken when Blair had sighed or mumbled in his sleep, unable to return to slumber until his friend had quieted.

He knew he shouldn't be doing it. It was an invasion of Blair's privacy. But he couldn't stop himself. Nor could he stop the erotic dreams featuring his partner that accompanied his late night monitorings. He woke from each dream extremely shaken, but incredibly aroused. He'd begun to question his sexuality, which scared him to death. He liked women. So what the hell was wrong with him? Why, within the last few months, would he rather go to a Jags game or fishing with Blair than seek out a date with one of the available women at the precinct? Subconsciously, he knew the answer: he was in love with Blair. Yet he continued to deny it, unable to accept that he was now attracted to men. Correction. Not any man, but one specific man. One that was breathtakingly handsome, with long, curly hair he ached to run his fingers through, one that possessed an intelligence that constantly awed him, combined with a wicked sense of humor and a smile that lit up a room...

{Stop it} he admonished himself {This is not the time to try and deal with this. Something's wrong with Sandburg}

Emotions in check, Jim continued downstairs, spying his partner standing outside on the balcony.

Blair Sandburg was in pain. No doubt about it. The physical pain he could handle, it would eventually subside. It was the pain of the heart that he feared would never end. God, how could this be happening? Another small moan escaped his lips and he hung his head, still massaging his temples, reflecting on the situation he now found himself in.

The long and short of it was...he was in love with Jim. His very male friend.

And Blair was scared to death. Actually, terrified would be a more accurate description. Terrified that the feelings he'd always had toward women were now directed solely at Jim. He'd never been with a man before. Hell, he'd never even looked at a man before in that way. Most people would find that surprising, considering the open way that Naomi had raised him, and his own appearance -- long hair, earrings -- but the fairer sex were what he'd always been interested in. Until now.

Until Jim Ellison made him question everything about himself. And he didn't have any answers.

All he had were his feelings, and he could no longer deny that he wanted a deeper relationship with Jim. That fact slammed into him tonight with the force of an out of control freight train. It was tonight he realized that this wasn't some sort of phase he was going through; that his feelings for Jim were real and true.

And what brought about this epiphany? Just an everyday occurrence called dinner.

Jim's caseload was high, leaving Blair precious little time for his university work. He had to grade his Anthro 101 and 201's term papers tonight or risk being late turning in his student's final grades for the semester. When Jim found out how behind he was, he refused to let Blair accompany him to the station. Thankful for his friend's understanding, Blair threw himself into his work, the hours flying by, the stack of ungraded papers steadily dwindling. Before he knew it, it was 6 o'clock and Jim was walking in the door. Blair looked up at him from the kitchen table through bleary eyes and the beginnings of a headache, suddenly realizing that he'd forgotten to make dinner.

But Jim just smiled and told him to keep working; he'd handle dinner duty. Expecting pizza or Thai delivery, Blair was surprised and pleased when Jim instead began preparing pasta with the sauce he knew Blair loved. So Jim cooked while Blair graded, stopping to bring his friend aspirin before Blair asked and to give the teaching fellow a brief, but much needed, shoulder rub.

It was when dinner was over and Jim began cleaning up, telling Blair to just relax, that it hit Blair. He wanted to stay at this man's side for the rest of his life.

Blair knew his feelings for Jim were heading beyond friendship for months now. All of Jim's little touches, the pats on the head or his face, an arm around his shoulders or a hand on his back, were now cause for an increased heartbeat and a craving for more. Blair found himself just staring at Jim when he wasn't looking, drinking in the sight of the handsome man. And his dreams were a whole other matter.

But it wasn't until tonight that he could put a label on his feelings: love. With the simple acts of Jim making his favorite food, getting him aspirin and quietly chatting about his day, Blair knew without a doubt that this, this man and this relationship was what he'd always been searching for. It was so domestic, so intimate to him that it took his breath away.

Wanting to give Blair peace and quiet to finish his grading, Jim retired upstairs to his room shortly after the dinner clean up was done to read for the remainder of the evening, unaware of the turmoil raging inside his friend.

Blair threw himself back into his work, thoughts whirling chaotically in his head, trying to come to terms with his love for Jim. He forced himself to concentrate on his student's papers, when all he wanted to do was try and figure out what he was going to do about the revelation he'd just had, and the dull throbbing of his earlier headache quickly became a full blown migraine.

By the time the last paper was graded around midnight, Blair felt as if someone were stabbing him in the right side of his head with an icepick. The migraine pain had concentrated itself there, then moved down his neck to his shoulder, causing them to stiffen up.

He wearily dragged himself off to bed, barely managing to strip down to his boxers before collapsing on top of his blankets. But sleep proved impossible, his throbbing head and stiff neck unable to let him relax, along with all of his jumbled up thoughts about his sexuality, Jim and love.

Hoping some fresh air would help clear his head, he padded quietly out to the living room and onto the balcony. He breathed deep of the warm summer night air, looking without really seeing at the Cascade skyline. Instead, he was looking inward, trying to find answers, only to come face to face with a new emotion: betrayal.

He suddenly felt as if he was betraying the deep friendship he and Jim shared by falling in love with him. Jim would neither need nor want this complication in his life, and Blair would be destroying something very special. For he knew there was no way he could hide this. That would be another betrayal, this time of Jim's trust, by pretending, by lying by way of omission. Even though he knew it would be the end of everything he held dear, he knew he had to tell Jim how he felt about him. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't.

The pain in his head suddenly dwarfed in comparison to the pain in his heart, and he hung his head with a low moan, fingers massaging his temples.

To finally find everything he'd ever wanted, only to lose it in the next heartbeat...


Blair turned, nearly jumping out of his skin at the soft voice. That man truly was as silent as a jaguar.

"Jesus! God, man, you scared me." He took a breath. "Did I wake you? I'm sorry."

Jim stepped out onto the balcony, giving the young man a breathtaking view of his partner's half-naked, moonlit body.

Blair closed his eyes. {Oh, god, I don't need this right now}

"You Ok, Chief? You don't look too good."

Blair sighed and shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "Migraine. Bad one."

Jim looked chagrined. "I'm sorry. It's my fault."

Blair gave him a confused look. "What?"

Jim sighed. "It's my fault you had to cram all that grading into one day. I didn't mean to keep you at the station so much this week."

"Jim, don't worry about it. I wanted to be with you," Blair replied.

Jim seemed a bit taken aback at Blair's honest admission. "Well...I like having you there." He cleared his throat. "Umm, can I do anything? Get you some more aspirin?"

Blair smiled tiredly, resuming his temple massage. "Yeah, man, that'd be great. God, this really hurts."

Jim turned to go back inside. "Why don't you head back to bed and I'll get the aspirin. You need to lay down and relax or it won't go away."

Blair nodded and followed Jim back into the loft, heading for his room as the bigger man stepped into the bathroom. Returning with the aspirin and water, Jim found his young friend lying quietly on his back on top of the covers, one arm across his eyes. Jim kneeled down next to the bed and touched his roommate on the shoulder.

"Here, Chief." He offered the aspirin and water. "Sit up a bit so you can swallow these."

Blair levered himself up and swallowed the medication, then sank back down to the mattress with a soft moan. "Think you can find a way to use those Sentinel abilities to stop the jackhammer drilling a hole in my head?" he joked weakly, closing his eyes.

Seemingly of it's own volition, Jim's hand reached out, fingers touching Blair's temple, beginning a soothing, circular motion. It was a toss-up who was more shocked at the touch. Blair, because it was so unexpected, or Jim, amazed at his boldness. But he didn't pull his hand away and Blair made no indication he wanted him to, instead leaning ever so slightly into Jim's touch.

Jim turned up his tactile sense, murmuring, "I can feel your blood pulsing beneath your skin."

A shiver ran through Blair and he struggled to find his voice. "Th- that feels good."

{You have no idea how good that feels} he thought to himself.

An identical thought was running through Jim's mind at the same time as he reveled in the feel of his Guide's skin beneath his fingertips.

"Is it helping?" the Sentinel asked softly.

Blair went to nod, but ended up grimacing as his stiff neck protested. Ever attuned to his partner, Jim inquired, "Is it your neck?"

"Yeah, it's like the pain started in my head and traveled all the way down to my neck and shoulder."

Abruptly the fingers stopped their motion, prompting Blair to look over at his friend.


The larger man seemed to be warring with himself over something, gazing into the corner of Blair's darkened room. Then he seemed to mentally shake himself and turned to look directly at Blair, standing up at the same time.

"Come on, Chief, sit up and scoot down."

"Wh-what? Why?"

"Do you trust me?"

{With my life, my heart and my soul} immediately thought Blair, wishing he could say the words, instead replying simply, "Always."

Blue eyes locked with blue, something indescribable passing between the two men at the question and it's heartfelt, honest answer. Their gazes held for the span of several heartbeats, until Blair blinked, breaking whatever spell they'd been under.

The younger man looked away, clearing this throat, feeling a blush heat his face, as he sat up and moved halfway down the bed. He felt the mattress dip as Jim's larger frame settled in behind him, long legs appearing on either side of his own. He could feel the heat of his friend's body close to his back. As Jim was arranging the pillows, Blair was waging a war with himself.

{Tell him!} his mind screamed at him {Tell him now how you feel before he touches you and your body betrays you. Tell him before he figures it out on his own and hates you for lying to him}

{He'll hate me anyway!} another part of him yelled {I can't do it, not now. I'll keep everything under control and tell him in the morning. I swear. Just, please...before he throws me out in the morning, let me have one more night as his friend...}

Unknown to Blair, another silent was war waging behind him.

{What are you doing?} Jim mentally berated himself. {You keep this up and you're going to lose the most precious thing in your miserable life because you can't control your hormones. You've got to tell him how you feel. You know you do. If he figures it out, if he figures out you've been lying to him, he'll be gone so fast it'll make your head spin}

{He'll leave me anyway!} another part of him countered {But I know I have to tell him. I'm not going to be able to hide it much longer. But I can for one more night. He's in pain. I need to help him. I'll tell him in the morning. I just want one more night as his friend before I have to see the look of disgust on his face and hear the slamming of the door...}

Blair started as large, warm hands settled under his long hair on his shoulders, thumbs resting at the base of his neck.

"Relax, Chief," Jim quietly urged, his hands beginning to gently knead Blair's shoulders. "Let me help."

In acknowledgment, the young anthropologist closed his eyes, letting out a long, slow breath, tying to let the tension out of his body, trying to ignore the electric feeling of Jim's hands on his bare skin.

"That's it," the Sentinel spoke softly. "Nice, deep breaths." Tactile sense turned up once again, he continued. "I can feel how tense your muscles are, how stiff."

{Oh, god} Blair thought miserably to himself {That's not the only thing that's going to be stiff if you keep this up} He let out a tiny groan at the direction his thoughts were heading, which was picked up on, and misinterpreted by the Sentinel behind him.

The large hands stilled. "Did I hurt you?" came the worried voice.

Blair hastened to reassure him. "No, please...keep going."

And the hands did just that for several more minutes, alternating between the shoulders and the neck until the Sentinel detected the muscles finally loosening under his fingers. Blair's body began to relax with the recession of some of the pain, his breathing becoming deeper, headed toward slumber. Jim began to slowly lean Blair's upper body back towards his own until the young man's back rested against his chest, the top of his head between Jim's left shoulder and neck.

"Jim...?" mumbled a sleepy, confused voice.

"Shh, it's Ok," Jim soothed. "Just go to sleep." His left hand now rested along the left side of Blair's body, while his right began the small, circular motions on Blair's aching temple once again.

"The pain's going away...thanks," Blair softly smiled.

"Hey, that's what Blessed Protector's are for," Jim replied. "Now go on, close your eyes and try and sleep. I can still feel the throbbing."

Settling himself more comfortably against the larger frame of his friend, Blair let himself give in to the hypnotic motion of Jim's fingers, his thoughts drifting as sleep called to him. He wished he could capture this moment in time: himself, lying against Jim so intimately, Jim's hands on his body, long legs pressed against his own.

They'd never touched like this before, and never would again after Jim found out come tomorrow morning the depths of Blair's feelings for him and threw him out.

But that was tomorrow and this was tonight, a memory Blair would cherish always, but the pain in his heart would always remind him of what could never be.

Jim easily detected when his Guide slipped into slumber, his breathing deep and even, the compact body now totally lax against his own. He allowed the movement of his fingers to slow and stop, dropping from Blair's temple to rest on the curve of the sleeping man's shoulder.

Knowing he'd never again be able to hold his friend in this way, he set his senses free, wanting to imprint everything about this man into his memory. To give him something to remember after tomorrow morning. After he told straight-as-an-arrow, Love 'Em and Leave 'Em Sandburg that he loved him. After he watched him walk out the door. It would kill him as surely as if he put his gun to his head and pulled the trigger, but he couldn't live the lie any longer. It wasn't fair to him or to Blair.

Opening his senses wide, he let one after another fill him -- the warm texture of Blair's skin, belying the strength of the muscles beneath the surface, the clean, fresh smell of Blair's body mixed with his natural musk, the strong, steady beat of his heart.

He let his hand drift to the left to wrap one long, silky curl around his finger, letting the strands caress his skin. He dipped his head slightly, inhaling the pleasant scent of Blair's shampoo, pressing his lips gently to the top of the curly head.

{I love you, Blair. I wish I could hold you like this forever}

Saving the best for last, Jim let his Sentinel sight use all of the available light, brightening the dark bedroom for him, giving him a perfect view of Blair's body as he lay in his arms. Their bodies were a study in contrast, his smooth where Blair's was softly furred, his more pronouncely muscular where Blair's was more compact and sturdy. As strange as it may seem for two men living together for three years, Jim had never once seen Blair naked, and his nighttime fantasies ran wild with speculation on how Blair would look, how he would feel as he lay on top of Jim, underneath Jim, moving against each other, how his skin would taste, how he would taste as he came down Jim's throat, and how he would sound when he made love...

Jim returned to himself with a gasp, jostling the sleeping man he held in his arms, wondering how his hand had ended up splayed on Blair's stomach, his fingertips under the waistband of the young man's boxers. Then there was the matter of the erection he was now sporting, pressing into the small of Blair's back.

Blair stirred at the movement and Jim froze, willing his friend to return to slumber. But his Guide was waking up, blinking sleepily, shifting slightly in the Sentinel's arms, dragging an involuntary groan out of Jim as he unknowingly pressed back into the big man's erection.

Now it was Blair's turn to freeze.


Blair had been having the most wonderful dream. He was being held in loving arms while hands ran gently over his shoulders before slipping thought his hair. A soft kiss was placed on the top of his head before the hand began an exploration of his chest, thumb brushing over a flat nipple with a sliver hoop, continuing downward through soft chest hair until coming to rest on his stomach, teasing him with fingertips under his boxer's waistband.

Movement pulled Blair unhappily from his dream and he wakened, trying to remember where he was. He shifted, blinking, finally remembering he was still lying against Jim's chest as his brain registered two things simultaneously: Jim's hand was resting intimately on his stomach, fingers under his boxer's waistband, and there was something hot and hard pressing into his back.

The two men froze, breaths catching in their throats, two racing heartbeats thunderously loud to Sentinel ears.

{Say something!} Jim's mind screamed at him.

He swallowed thickly, finding no moisture in his mouth. Started to speak, stopped, tried again.

"How-how's your headache?" he asked lamely, cringing inwardly at the inane question.

The silence stretched out for what seemed like an eternity, Jim's heart in his throat, waiting for a response from Blair.

"What headache?" came the answer, spoken Sentinel-soft.

Then Blair was moving, twisting around until he was straddling Jim's hips, groins pressed together, looking into the confused face of his friend.

"Blair, I--"

He was cut off as Blair placed a finger on his lips, giving a small shake of his head.

"No, don't. Just...tell me one thing." He paused, taking a breath, placing Jim's hand back low on his stomach. "What do you want?" he whispered.

There was no denying the hunger in those blue eyes looking straight at him, straight through him, and Jim's heart gave a lurch, thoughts and emotions racing through him too quickly to grasp and identify.

"You..." he breathed, laying it all on the line, taking the biggest gamble of his entire life.

Jim had seen Blair smile before, but nothing could have prepared him for the transformation that took place at Jim's answer, and that the smile was directed at him, Jim Ellison only, took his breath away. Then Blair's eyes slid half shut, his head moving slightly forward until their lips were mere millimeters apart, his breath soft on Jim's face. They remained that way, suspended in time, knowing they were about to cross the line and there would be no turning back. Connected as always, Sentinel and Guide, they moved together, closing the distance, lips meeting for the first time.

It was tentative and gentle, that first kiss. A brief taste of a whole new world opening up to them because they had finally listened to what their hearts had been telling them for a long, long time.

This was the person you were always meant for. This is what love is.

Jim's hands came up to frame Blair's face as the younger man's came to rest on his shoulders. The kiss gradually deepened, Blair's tongue darting out to caress Jim's lower lip, seeking entrance. With a groan, senses bordering on overload, Jim gladly obliged, parting his lips. Their tongues met and dueled, the Sentinel desperately trying to keep up with the bombardment to his senses. Blair filled him up: touch, taste, smell, sight, hearing...it was too much and not enough, like nothing he'd ever felt before. He let his hands slide down Blair's neck...shoulders...back, stopping for a moment at his hips before slipping inside his boxers to cup the young man's ass.

Blair's moan of pleasure was muffled against Jim's mouth, his cloth covered cock jumping, pressing into the bigger man's own erection. The kiss was becoming more frantic, each man's passion rising. Jim gripped Blair's hips and thrust his groin upwards, seeking blessed friction. Blair gasped and broke the kiss, eyes still closed as he pushed his own hips in a downward, then upward rolling motion. A low moan was dragged from Jim's lips as he switched his grip back to Blair's ass, encouraging the young man to hump against him.

"Oh, god, Blair...I need you..." Jim pleaded.

Blair's eyes opened at Jim's words, his movements slowing and stopping.

"Blair...?" questioned Jim, confused at the sudden change. "What's wrong?"

Blair sat back a bit, getting his breathing under control before speaking, avoiding eye contact with the man in front of him.

"Jim, I've never...with a guy...but this isn't some experiment or game to me." Blue eyes suddenly locked with blue. "It's real. And I have to know..."

"I love you." Jim smiled, heart near to bursting, finally able to say outloud the words locked inside his heart for so long. "I love you, Blair Sandburg. How's that for real?"

It didn't take a Sentinel to hear Blair's gasp. "Say-say it again, Jim," he demanded breathlessly. "God, say it again."

"I love you, Blair. I'm as new to this as you are, but this is no experiment to me either. I've never been so sure about what I've wanted or what I'm feeling in my entire life."

"What are you feeling, Jim? What do you want?" whispered Blair, shifting back closer.

Jim swallowed. "I'm scared, Blair," he admitted. "Scared at the intensity of my feelings for you, scared to find out something about myself I never knew...and scared I'm gonna screw this up." He stopped at the tremble in his voice, swallowed again and continued, hand rising to lay against the side of Blair's face. "But I want this more than anything. I want to love you, share my life with you, grow old with you. I want you. And I can only hope you want the same things," he finished, running his hand through soft, brown curls before letting it fall back to the bed.

"Jesus, Jim...I..." Blair shook his head, unable to find the words, throat closing up with emotion, deciding to show Jim what he was feeling instead, capturing his mouth for a kiss that spoke volumes without words. Pouring his heart out to the man he loved.

Jim crushed Blair to him, his heart rejoicing, hearing everything Blair wanted to tell him in that kiss. Never breaking it, Jim rolled them on their sides, his back to the wall of Blair's room. His hand delved inside the back of the young man's boxers, cupping his ass once again, feeling Blair press tighter against him, his erection growing by the second.

"Touch me, Jim...please," came the ragged voice.

"Let me see you..." came the equally ragged reply.

They rolled apart long enough for two pair of plaid boxers to disappear into the darkness of the room, then Blair was on his back, Jim on his side next to him in the narrow bed. Hands and mouths tried to be everywhere at once, finally free to do what they'd dreamed of doing for so long, tasting, touching, exploring.

Blair arched up off the bed as Jim's large, warm hand closed around his aching erection, pumping once.

"I have no idea what I'm doing here, Chief. If I'm doing this right..." Jim trailed off at the unfamiliar feel of another man's cock in his hand.

"It doesn't matter, Jim," Blair reassured him. "We'll learn together." He smiled, panting a bit. "If it feels this good, you can't be doing anything wrong."

Jim smiled mischievously. "If what feels good? This?" he teased, stroking Blair's cock, feeling it leap in his palm. "Oh, you like that, do you?"

Blair closed his eyes, head pressed back into the pillow. "Oh, yeah," he sighed. "That's good..."

Jim gradually increased the tempo of his strokes, watching in fascination as Blair's body responded to the stimulation. His breathing became shallower, quicker, cock lengthening and hardening to it's fullest, the tip turning a reddish-purple, small drops of moisture appearing at the slit. Blair's hands clenched at the sheets, hips starting to pump, driving himself into Jim's hand.

"Jim, Jim...yeah, like that...ohh...feels so good..."

Jim's cock was lying hot and heavy against Blair's leg, his own arousal reaching a peak, driven higher and higher by the sight and sound of Blair's passion, knowing he was the one causing it. He'd never felt such a rush. Suddenly consumed with the desire to bring Blair to the edge and over, to see him, hear him, feel him, taste him as he climaxed, he shifted his body downward, and without hesitation, engulfed the head of Blair's cock with his mouth.

Blair's scream of pleasure echoed in the small room, his hands trying to hold on to Jim's head, for fear he'd fly apart from the overwhelming sensations if he didn't. He wasn't going to last long and he didn't try and fight it, Jim's hot, wet mouth sucking him off, hurling him toward completion.

"I love you, oh god, Jim...I love you...Yess!"

And then he was there, flying off the edge of the cliff, orgasm ripping through him like lightening.

Jim felt Blair's cock swell slightly in his mouth, felt his balls tighten up, and pulled back at the last second, watching in erotic fascination as the streams of creamy, white fluid coated Blair's quivering belly and his own hand, still trying to comprehend he was actually making love to his best friend.

He reluctantly released Blair's softening cock as the young man's tremors started to subside, sliding back up the bed to rain kisses on soft chest hair, neck and face. Blair came back to himself a few moments later, breathing still a bit fast, but looking completely sated.

"Wow..." he breathed, looking up into crystal blue eyes.

Jim chuckled. "Wow? That's all you can say? Wow?"

"Well, you know what they say," Blair replied with a wink. "Actions speak louder than words."

And then Jim was on his back, arms full of an enthusiastic Guide ready for an exploration of his Sentinel's body. He started with the bigger man's mouth, plundering it until he left him breathless, moving down to his neck and shoulder, stopping to suck hard enough to leave a mark, delighting in Jim's gasp. Then it was on to the broad, muscular chest and the two flat, dusky nipples. He tentatively licked one, waiting for Jim's reaction. He didn't have to wait long.

"God, Blair, do that again," came the plea, large hands tangling in his hair.

Blair gladly obliged, licking and sucking one nipple while his fingers played with the other, teasing the nub to a hard, aching point. Blair didn't need to be a Sentinel to hear the pounding of Jim's heart or his rapid breathing at his ministrations.

"Blair, please..." Jim groaned, lifting his hips up, feeling his erection slide through Blair's semen that still coated his friend's stomach. "Ahh...god..."

"Please, what, Jim?" Blair breathed, turning the tables on his new lover. "Please do this?" A lick to one nipple. "Or please do this?" His hand reached between their bodies, taking Jim's stiff cock in his hand for the first time, stroking his thumb over the head, feeling a mixture of his own semen and Jim's pre-ejaculate.

"Yess..." Jim ground out.

"Is this what you want?" A hand began a slow pumping. "Tell me..."

"No," Jim gasped with a shake of his head.

The hand's movement faltered. "No?"

"No," Jim replied, voice husky with need. "I want you to taste me."

A bolt of white-hot desire surged through Blair at Jim's request, his softened cock jumping back to life. Without another word, he slid down Jim's body, letting his long hair trail over the Sentinel's chest, until he reached his goal between the big man's legs. He rested his free hand on Jim's thigh, feeling the small tremors coursing through his friend's body as he trembled with desire and anticipation. Then Blair dipped his head and tasted his lover for the first time.

Jim thought he would explode at the first touch of Blair's tongue on his cock, his head pressing back into the pillow with a gasp. He fought for control, closing his eyes, willing his body to hang on, wanting to make this last.

"Oh, yeah, oh god, that's it, Blair, feels so good, so good, I love you, I love you..." he rambled almost incoherently as Blair continued sucking his cock, hand pumping in tandem.

The sudden sensation of Blair's free hand gently squeezing his balls was Jim's undoing. His eyes snapped open and he made the mistake of looking down. Looking down to see his hard cock sliding in and out of Blair's hot, wet mouth while he stroked him and fondled his balls at the same time. Jim gripped the bedclothes and pumped his hips once, twice, still watching himself, feeling his orgasm descend on him like a tidal wave, letting himself be washed away in the overwhelming sensations.

Blair's only warning was his name as a scream from Jim before the big man was coming, pouring himself down Blair's throat in long pulses. The young man found the slightly bitter taste to be extremely intoxicating, swallowing everything Jim gave him.


Jim could never remember feeling so content, so safe, so loved in his entire life than he was at this moment. He and Blair were back in the positions that started all of this, his young lover laying between his wide spread legs, his back to Jim's chest, head resting between his left shoulder and neck. Jim was lazily twisting a lock of Blair's long hair around his finger while his Guide traced aimless patterns on his Sentinel's thigh.

When Jim had finally floated back to earth after his incredible climax, it was to find his friend gently washing his softened cock with a warm, damp cloth. After Blair returned from putting the washcloth in the bathroom, there was a moment of awkwardness as he stood next to his bed, the reality of what they'd done finally sinking in. But when Jim opened his arms, Blair went willingly, the young man's smile proof that his doubts, his fears, had been vanquished by Jim's simple gesture.

So here they were, tired, sated, in love for the first time in their lives...and Jim's mind was swimming in questions.

He'd just made love to his best friend. His male friend. He finally made happen what he'd only dreamed about and it was the most mind-blowing experience he'd ever had. But what did this make him? Gay? Bi? And Sandburg for that matter as well.

He loved Blair with his heart and soul, but neither of them knew the first thing about same-sex relationships. Could they make this work? What would happen when the newness wore off?

And what about their friends, their jobs? Would they tell them? Should they tell them?

Jim gave an inward sigh. In his fantasies, he loved Blair and Blair loved him and they lived happily ever after. But now his fantasy had become reality and with it came questions. So many questions. And right now he had no answers save one: it wasn't going to be easy.

But he knew without a doubt that he would fight for this relationship till his dying breath. The rest of the world could go to hell as long as he and Blair were together. It took them too damn long to make it to this point - too stupid, too afraid to take a chance - to give up in the face of adversity. They were both stronger than that.

Now wasn't the time for thoughts like that, though, Jim decided. The questions could wait till the bright light of morning. The night was theirs. This special night when friends turned into lovers...

"Thank you."

Blair's soft, sleepy voice roused Jim from his musings. He smiled, kissing the top of the curly head. "For what, babe?" The term of endearment slipping out with ease.

Blair turned sideways slightly to look up at Jim. "For taking the pain away," he whispered. "And I don't mean here," pointing to his temple. "I mean here," placing Jim's hand over his heart.

"God, Jim," he sighed. "I was hurting so bad. I loved you, but I was so confused; about myself, about you, what you'd think, what you'd do...it was tearing me up inside."

Jim kissed him gently. "I never want to see you in pain, Blair. Didn't you know that the Blessed Protector duties extend to matters of the heart as well?" he smiled. "The past is behind us, Chief. What matters is now. We overcame our fears and we're here, together. All I want to do is show you how much I love you in every way I can."

Blair slipped out of Jim's arms, turning to face him, kneeling on all fours between his lover's legs, a playful gleam in his eyes.

"Oh, yeah?" he challenged, a cocky grin lighting up his face. "Not if I show you first!"

Laughing, Jim caught Blair as he pounced, sending a challenge up to the heavens.

{Go ahead, world. Throw whatever you've got at us. Try your best, but there isn't anything gonna stop this love}




Thanks for reading! Comments are always appreciated. :-)

Barbara Nice-Miller