You Go Down To The Woods Today, Are *You* In For A Big Surprise!
was a sun shiny day, decided Winnie the Pooh, as he prepared his home for the
party. He busied his little bear self trying to make everything *just* so; it
wouldn't do for his bear friends to think he wasn't capable of organising a
little party, now would it?
Soon his humble little home would ring with the sound of bear laughter, and the
whole forest would know that Pooh was throwing a party. He hugged himself with
joy, and did a little dance, he was *so* excited!
"Hmmm," hummed Pooh as he glanced around the room at all the goodies
he had collected for the festivities, and ticked things off on his little bear
paw. "Hunny...lots of hunny!" he chuckled as the twenty temptingly
unopened jars almost whispered to him of what lay within, "Hmm, now Pooh,
*concentrate*." He screwed up his eyes, and tried not to think of all that
sweet, warm, honey almost in his grasp. "Let's see, is everything here?
Hunny...condoms...hunny...lube....hunny...nipple clamps....hunny...cock rings...hunny..."
First to arrive as usual was Big Ted; Playschool had let him out early it seems,
so he'd decided to arrive first.... so he said.
"That's a big problem for you, isn't it Ted?" Pooh smirked as he took
Ted's hat, and scarf, hanging them on the little hook by the door.
"What do you mean by that?" Ted huffed.
"Oh, just a rumour I heard," Pooh replied, innocently.
"Fucking *Bungle*," Ted spat angrily, his curly mohair fur almost
straightening, and rising like the hackles of an angry dog. "You have *one*
bad night with that slut, and he gets it around that you misfire all the
Pooh wrinkled his nose, and padded his feet anxiously, "Oh, don't take it
to heart, Ted. We all understand. Have a hunny bap!"
Ted's eyes narrowed slightly, "Is Issi Noho coming today?" he asked as
casually as he could.
"Oh yes, Issi never misses one of my 'dungeon' parties," Pooh trilled,
"He's a fully qualified Dom now, you know?"
"He *is*?" Ted's mouth dropped open, and he licked his lips.
"Oh yes, he was on the cover of 'Leather Bear' last month!"
Ted sat down on the small chair by the window, and sighed, "He's a hot
bear, huh Pooh?"
"Scorching!" Pooh grinned mischievously, as he scooped a handful of
honey out of a jar, and smeared it on a sesame seed bap. "Did you hear
about poor Paddington, getting arrested for prostitution? Who'd have thunk it,
Paddington a rent bear."
Ted 'humphed', "He's a high class rent bear, though," he reminded
Pooh, "He has clients who *aren't* fur bound mammals!"
"No shit?" Pooh dropped onto the chair in shock, "Humans? You
mean he's into bestiality?"
"Disgusting isn't it? I couldn't handle the sweaty, clammy, hairless bodies
myself. Nothing to hang onto, if you know what I mean?" Ted humped his hips
in a vain attempt to illustrate his point.
Pooh fanned himself with his furry little paw, and reached for a hunny bap.
Hunny was *so* good for shock.
"I have to say, I don't know how Sooty lives with having humans so
'close.'" Pooh shuddered, "He wrote an article for 'Fisters Weekly'
about how to 'Make a human your friend, and confidante,' but I don't think I
could do that."
Suddenly, a knock at the door brought a halt to the conversation. As Pooh
struggled to answer it, honey dripping from his little paw, he squealed with
glee at the sight that met him, as the old oak door swung open.
"Teddy!" Pooh trilled, hurling himself into the paws of the large,
slightly greying bear, "Oh my, it's so good of you to come! Is Andy Pandy
"No, not today," the old bear boomed, "He's having a 'donor day'
with Looby Lou. She's talked him into fathering a baby for her, and Hamble. So,
I left them, and their turkey baster to it, and decided to come and party."
Pooh padded his little feet, and ushered Teddy into his home. It was *so*
exciting that a bear like Teddy would grace one of *his* parties!
An hour later, Pooh's little home was jam packed with bears, and their furry
brethren. Everyone who was anyone was tied up, tied down, straddled, manacled,
or bound, right there in his little house.
Rupert was performing on the kitchen table, his familiar yellow checked scarf,
expertly binding a squealing Care Bear to the table legs, as he humped
blissfully at a furry little rump, whilst holding on to that cute little
Bungle was being pleasured by two frantically whistling Clangers, and this time,
he'd remembered not to sit down suddenly, lest another one get stuck in an
When Paddington had eventually showed up, he'd found himself to be guest of
honour, and finally struck up a threesome with Uncle Bulgaria, and
Orinoco....discovering to his utter delight, what it was *really* like to be 'wombled.'
Glancing around at the frantic coupling, and sighing at the sound of joyful
grunts, Pooh padded his little feet in ecstasy at yet another successful Bare
He chuckled at the sight of Big Ted in his leather harness, being whipped by
Issi Noho, until the kapok spilled from his furry little rear.
Ted was watching from the comfort of the sofa, whilst receiving oral sex from
one of My Little Ponies, making Pooh wonder why he was called 'Little' Ted at
Hugging himself, and tugging gently on his nipple ring, Pooh congratulated
himself on another success, and decided that the only way to celebrate, was to
crack open a pot of extra sweet hunny. The Soup Dragon had invited Pooh to
partake in a little pre-sex rimming competition, and a smear of his best hunny
would be just the thing to ensure that he won, especially since his fellow
competitor was a Clanger, who already had the advantage of a long nose, and
seriously tractable tongue.
Outside, the sun was setting, the birds were flying back to their nests for the
night, woodland creatures skittered through the undergrowth, returning to their
homes until sunrise, and Paddington was just tearing open his fifteenth box of
All was well in the enchanted wood, and they all screwed happily ever after....