The O’Reily Files

by K9

Subject:Tobias Beecher

cc’ed to ‘The Man’ upstairs.


Transmission begins.

Hi. My name is Ryan O’Reily, and I’m a guardian angel. Hey, I’m not shittin’ ya; it’s the truth. You ask the guy upstairs. I’m here for a reason, man, I’m bein’ straight with ya.

I was sent here to watch over Tobias Beecher, and lets face it, the guy needs watching over. Deep down, he’s a really nice, decent guy, but he just has a few...erm...problems. Now, I’m not throwing stones, I got my own problems. Having a serious boner for the Doc, being one of them. Let me tell ya, the big guy upstairs was shit unhappy about that one, but like I told him, until he gets all his angels neutered, that shit is gonna happen. Then I kinda wished I hadn’t suggested it, just in case he takes me up on that.

I signed up to be an angel, not a friggin’ eunuch!

So, the ‘Man’ sent me here to help old Toby find his way. He knew that things were gonna get a little rough for Toby, and he’d need someone to help him through. That someone was gonna be me. Then, along came Christopher Keller and he blew my fucking plans right out of the water. He lit old Toby up like a fucking Christmas tree, stoked the flame, watched it burn, then tried to stamp it out. The man is a four star bastard, but in that rotten, scarred soul of his, there’s still a spark of light, and the big guy said I had to roll with it.

Y’see, He figured that while I was helping to save one soul, I might get to save Keller’s too. A kinda ‘two for the price of one’, ya know?

Personally, I think I’m a little late for Chris Keller, but I been wrong before. I wasn’t impressed with that Polish kid the Big Guy had me fix up, yet he’s made a pretty fine Pope.

Anyway, I was doin’ okay with old Toby, except for a couple of small slip-ups when demon spawn Schillinger got his hands on the guy. Now there’s a really fucked up mortal. Sold his soul to the man downstairs so that he could get rid of his wife.

However, having met his wife in the afterlife, I gotta say, if it was a choice of twenty more years with her, or eternity in hells flames, I’d be heading south too.

I digress. Me n’ Toby had been hanging out for a while since he came to Oz; we made it through the riot together. You know, the guy really came through for me that time, I was so impressed with him. I thought I was onto easy streets, until that fateful day when Christopher Keller, prisoner 98K514, wandered into Oz, looking pretty damned buff and innocent, and my little Toby found himself all hot and heavy.

Personally, I think the guy downstairs had a hand in putting Keller in the same pod as Toby. You know, like a test? A kind of, ‘will they, won’t they’? And boy, did they!

A benefit of being a guardian angel, is that I can be around, even when I’m not...know what I mean? I was watching the day Beecher and Keller had their first ‘wrestling’ match.

Only a lawyer could be dumb enough to believe a sexual predator like Chris Keller when he calls that little display of foreplay, ‘sport.’ That was pure ‘ I want into your shorts’ to everyone but Toby.

Hell, it was so obvious, even McManus would get it.

It was kinda funny though, the look on old Toby’s face, when he finally pinned Keller to the floor and realized that he was sporting wood. He was like a guy on the edge of an epiphany, then SPLAT! Like a bunny on a car hood, goin’ at speed, he was hit.

Y’see, men are simple creatures, no really, they are. They have very narrow views of what is, or isn’t expected of them. As an angel, I’ve seen shit that would turn your hair gray overnight, all perpetuated in the name of love, yet still these dumb mortals allow themselves to be shocked by its power.

Yeah, it was at that moment that Tobias Beecher really realized he was in love with another guy. Scary stuff, I’ll admit, especially when the guy in question closely resembles a basking shark.

Shit, we all knew Keller was trouble, though he did earn points by smacking Mark Mack in the nose on his first day here. Gotta give the guy credit for some things.

Watching Beecher with Keller was like watching a schoolboy with a crush on the high school jock. He tried to play it so cool, but he couldn’t hide the fact that he was drooling whenever Keller took off his shirt.

What is it with muscles? Huh? Speaking as a ‘slender’ guy, (for that read ‘skinny’) I’d just like to know why a guy with arms like a primate is so damned attractive? No, I’m not getting pissy about it, and there’s no jealousy involved...I’d just like to know.

Anyway, Beecher found himself gettin’ in deeper and deeper with Keller, and the poor guy just had no clue what to do. The part of his brain that controls common sense and logic was smartly rerouted through his dick, and he fell so hard for Chris Keller, that it was painful to watch.

Keller, he’s a really deceiving bastard, in so many ways. He’s cold, and calculating, but he comes across as not too bright. Not so. The guy is as sharp as a knife, and about as deadly.

Toby fell for his ‘you and me together’ routine, and it only took a short time before he was relying on Keller for his moral support, as well as his intimidating physical presence.

Can you rely on someone who has no morals, for ‘moral support’?

Hmm, anyway, when Keller got high on moonshine, and gave Toby his ‘I love you’ line, Toby finally hit the wall.

I couldn’t say anything, I wasn’t supposed to be there after all, but to this day, I still don’t know just how much truth there was in those words. However, Toby believed them, and this was just the start of his downward spiral.

When Keller was released from the hole, he put Toby through hell. I don’t think I ever felt for one of my mission subjects, like I felt for Tobias Beecher back then. Love can be real cruel, it can gnaw away at your soul, turn you mean, make you crazy.

When Keller and Schillinger finally pinned old Toby down and broke him apart, I think they started with his heart.

Nietchze said ‘What doesn’t destroy you, makes you stronger’ an’ I always thought that was bullshit, but it seemed to work with Toby. He found a new kind of strength after the event with Keller and Schillinger, a new purpose in life.


End transmission